Today. It happened.

Today. It happened. We are in the hardware store, Lowe's to be specific. I am wearing yesterdays make-up but I have brushed both teeth and hair. I have on a pair of jeans that has only been worn one other day, (practically CLEAN!) and a sweatshirt. I am wearing a bra. I am glad I am this much put together because people are looking at us.

People are looking because Connor is yelling, DADADA at the top of his lungs in between loud grunting protests. You see, I let him out of the cart once. He was allowed to walk behind the cart in the grocery and he's not forgotten it. If you have just had a child, let me give you some advice. Keep them in the cart until they are at least 10. But I digress.

I walk around the store for a while, go to the customer service desk and have to practically beg them to help me find the lamp re-wiring kits. They page someone for aisle 12 who never comes. I finally approach someone for help, but she doesn't know where the kits are. She asks two other people who also do not know where the kits are. She suggests waiting for about 15 minutes until the person that does know comes back from lunch. I tell her, that's ok, I'll just go to another store.

I am walking out of the store, I give the unhelpful customer service lady at the desk one of those smirky smiles. You know the ones that look a little bit like a smile, but actually mean, "Thanks for doing absolutely nothing for me you useless bitch". Connor is now turned around trying to escape from the cart on his own, but still hoping if he yells DADADA long and loud enough, Daddy will appear. People are still looking at us. The crazy, worn out mom and her lunatic monkey-child. I look down. I am wearing my houseshoes.

My FUZZY, RED houseshoes. In PUBLIC.

How in the hell do I leave the house and not put on SHOES? What is happening to me?! In another two years, will I be at the grocery store having forgotten to take out my curlers, wearing my bathrobe?! Of course I won't. Mostly because curlers indicate that you might at some point during the day FIX your hair and as my husband can attest, that hasn't happened since I gave birth. Truth be told, they do feel sort of like regular shoes when you are wearing them, if regular shoes were made of fuzzy wool. It's almost happened before. But today it happened.

And to tell you the truth... I was sort of disappointed that no one mentioned them. I had a great story ready about how they were actually Swiss clogs that were made from a very rare ibex wool in which the internal padding egronomically conforms to your foot, giving such perfect support that my cronic back pain was cured. But I didn't get to.

Tomorrow. I'm curling my hair.