I'm so going there.

CO-SLEEPING: YES, NO, SOMETIMES?

This subject of co-sleeping came up in playgroup today. I've never written about this on the blog, but tonight, I'm so going there.

I’ve discussed co-sleeping with most everyone I know and I’ve found that almost everyone has a strong opinion on the subject. It seems that everyone thinks that the person that doesn’t share their side, needs to be aware of what a “bad situation” they are getting themselves into. No matter which side of the fence they are on. Pro-family bed types, feel that abandoning a child in the crib to “cry it out” causes emotional damage, while the “pro crib” types believe that by sleeping with the parents, the child is somehow going to develop behavioral problems. Although I personally have not been able to make the connection on how the latter occurs.

In the early part of the century, it was believed that babies were so fragile, they should only be held when being fed or changed. The rest of the time, they were not to be held, less one of their fragile bodies become damaged. Today we know that this is not true. In fact, some twins in the NICU of hospitals are put into the same incubator, because although no one is sure why, it helps them grow stronger.

Who really likes sleeping alone? Even our cat, who prides himself on his independence would be incensed if he were not allowed to sleep on the bed. When I had a dog, she slept on the bed, ruining more than one comforter and more often than not waking me at odd hours because she was LOUDLY, practicing the canine version of feminine hygiene. But THAT was never taboo.

Connor started out his life in a little co-sleeping side car that snuggled up next to our bed. It made breastfeeding a breeze and allowed me to sleep. If he would have been in another room, I would have been even more sleep deprived in my constant post partum state of paranoia, as I had to check to make sure he was breathing about every 45 minutes. Eventually, I would nurse him in the bed, and we would both fall back asleep in the bed. Soon, the co-sleeper was used for holding books, tissues and diapers and Connor took the supreme spot, previously occupied by the cat, in between mommy and daddy.

Basically it comes down to REM sleep. Connor sleeps with us because when he wakes up at 3am, it takes 2 minutes to get him back to sleep - if he gets into the bed with us, and 45 minutes – 3 hours to get him back to sleep if we don’t. You can do the math on that one.

I think no matter which way you decide to go, what’s right for your family is right for your family. On nights when Connor sleeps in his room the entire night, (and this DOES miraculously happen) I truly enjoy sleeping on my stomach, instead of the right side, arm extended position that I sleep in when Connor is in the bed with us. At some point, we fully intend to move Connor over to his crib completely. He’s only a baby for a little while though and I don’t mind cuddling him when I get a chance to. In the middle of the night, when he reaches out in his sleep to pat my face and then smile without waking because he knows he’s not alone, I absorb it like a cat laying in a sunbeam. After all, before we know it, he’ll be ashamed to be seen in public with us, will only trade hugs for gas money and will forget our birthdays. But for now, he remembers us… even when he’s sleeping.