Back to Work Lassie!

You’ll never believe this. I have enough dress clothes for one entire work week. One office casual work week. I know this because I’ve worked last week and again this week. Jorma’s still not working and we needed some extra cash, so I picked up a temp job in the design department of a local textile plant to help them for a week as they get ready for the big market in New York. And it was like a freakin’ vacation.

I really think that working for a week was better for me than a week in the Bahamas would have been. No only did I have a whine free 8 hour day, but I got to eat lunch anywhere I wanted and hit the drive through Starbucks on my lunch hour. I got to help with the package designing, use a Mac again and have adult conversations. I’ve been so starved for adult conversation that doesn’t involve poop that I probably talk non stop the entire time. I am so enjoying myself.

Most of my anxiety about returning to work was involved the kids anxiety about me leaving them and once I found that there was none, it was easier to leave the house in the morning. Or at least there was none. Until today.

When I got home today, Connor started crying saying that he missed his playgroup… that he lost his friends. I think it was probably more about how everything has changed for him all of a sudden and he does miss playgroup, but also misses Mommy and our routine and that’s what he was so upset about. But today I really missed the kids too. Today I couldn’t stop wondering, what they were doing or if they missed me at all. It breaks my heart that I only get to see Tristan for less than two hours a day because he’s so little and goes to bed so early. Connor gets a little more Mommy time because his bedtime is later, but it’s still not much. Or as much as I’m used to anyway.

Jorma is making out just fine with the kids, although he’s probably more ready to start working again than ever. I’ll be so glad when everything is settled back down for us. I’ve always led a charmed life and I just can’t figure out why it’s not working out perfectly for us… the way it always does. I keep telling myself that there is something that I’m supposed to learn from this experience so I don’t feel so bitch slapped by the universe.

I guess I should be grateful for what we do have. Two healthy kids and a roof over our head. And when I look at it from that perspective it IS working out ok, because at least night now we have some extra income coming in… and who knows where that will lead. I’m just ready to get this time behind us. Just relax.