Back to Work Lassie!

You’ll never believe this. I have enough dress clothes for one entire work week. One office casual work week. I know this because I’ve worked last week and again this week. Jorma’s still not working and we needed some extra cash, so I picked up a temp job in the design department of a local textile plant to help them for a week as they get ready for the big market in New York. And it was like a freakin’ vacation.

I really think that working for a week was better for me than a week in the Bahamas would have been. No only did I have a whine free 8 hour day, but I got to eat lunch anywhere I wanted and hit the drive through Starbucks on my lunch hour. I got to help with the package designing, use a Mac again and have adult conversations. I’ve been so starved for adult conversation that doesn’t involve poop that I probably talk non stop the entire time. I am so enjoying myself.

Most of my anxiety about returning to work was involved the kids anxiety about me leaving them and once I found that there was none, it was easier to leave the house in the morning. Or at least there was none. Until today.

When I got home today, Connor started crying saying that he missed his playgroup… that he lost his friends. I think it was probably more about how everything has changed for him all of a sudden and he does miss playgroup, but also misses Mommy and our routine and that’s what he was so upset about. But today I really missed the kids too. Today I couldn’t stop wondering, what they were doing or if they missed me at all. It breaks my heart that I only get to see Tristan for less than two hours a day because he’s so little and goes to bed so early. Connor gets a little more Mommy time because his bedtime is later, but it’s still not much. Or as much as I’m used to anyway.

Jorma is making out just fine with the kids, although he’s probably more ready to start working again than ever. I’ll be so glad when everything is settled back down for us. I’ve always led a charmed life and I just can’t figure out why it’s not working out perfectly for us… the way it always does. I keep telling myself that there is something that I’m supposed to learn from this experience so I don’t feel so bitch slapped by the universe.

I guess I should be grateful for what we do have. Two healthy kids and a roof over our head. And when I look at it from that perspective it IS working out ok, because at least night now we have some extra income coming in… and who knows where that will lead. I’m just ready to get this time behind us. Just relax.

 

Harry Potter - NO SPOILERS

If you haven’t read the last Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Endless Buildup Deathly Hallows you need to get going. I’m dying to write about it but I don’t want to write anything that might give it away for those of you that aren’t obsessive-compulsive about reading this series as soon as it comes out. Truthfully we were dying to read it, but didn’t want to break down and pay $25.00 for a book right now, since Jorma’s not working. So when I scored a copy from Dad, who pre-ordered for Jeffery, who was out of town and certainly wouldn’t mind if we borrowed it and returned it to him in mint condition, I was thrilled.

Jorma read it first in a day and a half and then passed it off to me and I was able to devour it in two days. I think it’s well written and JK Rowling didn’t go off the deep end with the book like I expected her too. You know, sort of the same way that some musicians’ do… Like Aerosmiths’s seventh album. But she didn’t. She held it together and produced a well written, plotted and at times even humorous novel. Bravo.

And if you haven’t started reading it yet, you should, it’s worthy and if you’ve never read the first one, I highly recommend that too. I’ll wait to discuss for those of you that haven’t started yet. You have one month.

Dear Connor - 33 Months

Dear Connor,
You are the most enthusiastic child I have ever seen. Just the sight of a firetruck barreling down the road with it's lights on, sends you into a frenzy of screaming, "fire truck, fire truck! MOMMY!" until I acknowledge that yes, it is a firetruck and yes it does have it's lights on. And oh to find a mushroom in your dinner. It surely is the most tasty, morsel in the world as you fish it out of your pasta and hold it up to the light for better examination while exclaiming, "I HAVE A MUSHROOM!"
I think if we took you to Disney you might explode.


Your vocabulary is quite impressive. I'm proud of this because it makes me think that maybe we are getting some stuff right. Of course it could be that you're brillant instead of our stellar parenting skills but I'll take that too. I would like to think that it's because we never dumb it down for you. Today we were in the car coming back from Papaw's when you started chattering something unintelligible. You were pretty insistent on the word, so I finally said, "You're going to have to be more specific." You replied, "No, Mommy, I don't have to be more specific", in an exasperating tone. I explained to you what the word specific meant and didn't hear it again today. But I guarantee in a week or so, I'll say something to you and you'll spout it back out to me. In a wise ass tone of voice.

You've started getting a little braver with your voice tone and I'm starting to see it's going to move into the talking back stage. It's pretty common, ('bout 10 times a day) for me to ask you to do something and have you reply, "No, YOU need to pick this up MOMMY!" Personally, it's kind of entertaining and it never works for you so I figure we should just enjoy the humor while we can.

You are getting better with your brother. Now instead of "accidentally on purpose" hurting him you are just accidentally hurting him. I feel like it's mostly about the intention with that sort of thing, so you are forgiven often usually escaping with only a mild scolding. You might ignore him on a regular basis, but the first thing you want to know in the morning is, "Where's Tristan?" You want to know if he's going into the car with us, or if he's going outside with us, or where he's sleeping. You want to know if he can taste everything that you taste and why can't he have an M&M. You want to know if he needs to take a turn in the bathroom too. Often you want to know if Mommy or Daddy can hold him so that you can work your puzzle without him throwing himself on top of it and trying to take the pieces out of your hand and put them into his mouth. You are going to be a great big brother.

Over the past two days I've been working a temp job causing me to be gone for about 9 hours each day. I thought that you might take it harder than you did and was mildly, relieved and disappointed when you seemed to not be phased at all. You've been enjoying your one on one time with Daddy and were glad to see me home, but didn't really address the issue until the second night when you climbed up into my lap, threw your arms around my neck and hugged me saying, "I missed you" and just laid in my lap for a couple of minutes. At that time, although I enjoyed working, it felt so good to be home.
Love,
Mommy

How to make me laugh

Tonight, Connor grabbed a pair of Tristan's pants and looked inside.
"A tag!"
"My Brudder (brother)! My Brudder!" he shouted showing it to me.

Dreamweaver Help

I’m building a couple of websites at the moment, both of them in Dreamweaver CS. For the life of me, I can not figure out how to stroke with a 1 px line the outside of the table. I can apply a stroke but if effects all of the cells in the table and I just want a black outline around the table. I’ve Googled for help and read the Dreamweaver help menus. The only thing I can think is that I can create a small gif line image and run it around the inside of the table, but that seems just crazy to me. I figure if FrontPage can do it, certainly Dreamweaver can.

If you can help me solve this dilemma it would be much appreciated. The site that I’m working on now, doesn’t require a black line around the page, but I just thought it was strange that I can’t do this. Help!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Bad Habits
Originally uploaded by Dewchild

Here, a classic example of how bad habits are passed down from one child to the other. Also known as Monkey See, Monkey Do.

Site Feed Goes Live

That’s right. Tonight, Jorma figured out what the right line of url was for my RSS feed to work. So if you have a Google homepage, you can just add me in!

On your Google Homepage choose Add Stuff >> over on the right hand side of the page. Next to the Search Homepage Content button choose “Add by URL” then put in, http://www.dewchild.com/atom.xml and tada! You’ll update whenever I do.

If you don’t have a Google homepage yet, because you are still dialing up on your Pentium 500, first you should get a new computer. Then you should get the Google homepage. It’s so sweet. Go to the Google site, click on Make Google Your Homepage and customize. You can even choose themes for the page that change with the time of day in your area. I’m so impressed by the Teahouse theme. It’s my fav.

Feed Me!

The Naughty Spot

The Naughty Spot
Originally uploaded by Dewchild

Connor sitting in the naughty spot after laying on top of his brother for the five millionth time after we told him not to.

Dear Tristan - 10 Months

Dear Tristan,
You aren’t supposed to compare children. Not your children to anyone else’s or your own children to each other. But there’s no other way. I mean, how would we know that you are such an exceptional sleeper, if we didn’t have your brother to compare you to? I’ve had about 9 thousand conversations with other mom’s and most of those have been about comparing children. I think it’s silly to say that children shouldn’t be compared. I don’t think that they should be compared in the “Why can’t you be more like your sister?!” sort of way, but that’s not comparing at all. That’s just being mean. It’s been an exciting month for you. You have been walking with support, holding on to anything you can taking small rapid steps like a drunk in a hurry. You’ll hold on to our fingers, pants or even the draw string on a pair of shorts while you make your way across the floor. You still know that you can get places faster by crawling and will take a few steps and then drop onto all fours and race across the room. We’ve done the walking back and forth to Mommy and Daddy, but you walk a few steps and then drop to your knees again and race over pulling up looking at us expectantly for applause.
You and your brother are going through a wrestling stage and we worry that he’s going to hurt you. When you both start crawling on top of each other, your Dad and I hurry into the room to warn your brother that he’s not to lay on you and repeat, “NO Wrestling!” again and again. Sometimes that’s enough to stop him, but other times we have to separate the two of you.

You always look so disappointed that we’ve ended the fun. You and the brother are starting to play a little together now, a new activity that thrills you. You spend the day following him from area to area of the house, trying to get your hands on whatever he is playing with so that you can play too. We’ve tried to make it sound like the best fun ever when you come in and destroy the block tower that brother’s just spend 15 minutes making, your Dad announcing in a playful voice, “YAY! Here comes Godzilla to smash Tokyo!” Brother doesn’t think it’s nearly as fun as you do.

You’ve been eating well, having little bits of whatever we are eating in addition to the banana and cheese staples in your diet. You prefer graham crackers to just about anything and still have not quite figured out how the sippy cup works. You’ve tried foods that I wouldn’t have dared feed your brother at such an early age, foods like cool whip and ice cream. Such is the life of the second child, you won’t have to wait as long for things as your sibling.

We have a little plastic tricycle that has no pedals. It’s a sit on push with your feet sort of toy and your brother didn’t know how to work it correctly until he was about a year and a half old. The other day it was in the kitchen, (because where ELSE should it live?) and you crawled over to it, pulled yourself up and climbed onto the seat where you did your little baby walk on it, riding it around the kitchen like you were two years old. Who knew that a baby on a plastic tricycle would be something that would make my heart swell with pride?

You are such a good baby. When I say “No!” most of the time you stop and listen. You can go hours past your nap without a fuss and if you fall down, generally you just roll over and get back up again. You don’t mind being held by strangers and get worried when you hear your brother cry, peering over at him with a look of concern. You have a healthy appetite and are all smiles all the time. You Dad however, might like to mention that you should probably stop kicking him in the boys during diaper changes; I don’t think he enjoys that, not one bit. Overall though, you’ve spoiled us rotten… and for that we love you all the more.
Love,
Mommy

Tristan's First Steps

Yay, Baby! I also have to note for the record today, that Tristan took his first steps (more than two) unassisted and without prompting. I was sitting on the sofa and the just let go of the front of the sectional where he was cruising up and playing what I think might be his version of Cheerio Shark when he just flat let go and walked over to me with his hands above his head.

He’s been taking one or two steps here and there, and he’s been walking with assistance for a couple of weeks now, clinging to Jorma or my fingers like his magic feather while he walks across the room. Today’s celebration is that he just let go. After much praise he did it again and again and then repeated for Jorma later in the afternoon.

Tristan’s so proud of himself too, now we just get to walk behind him for the next month to make sure he doesn’t crack his head on the tile.

Dawn and Larry Marry

This weekend we attended the most beautiful wedding. For those of you that know them, after 9 years of being together, Larry and Dawn finally tied the knot. The wedding was held in Manteo, NC at the NC Aquarium and the reception held inside the facility in the shark tank room. We drove a total of 18 hours with our back and forth trips from the beach house to the Outer Banks, some hours with children, some hours with child and Jorma was even fortunate enough to travel for a whole 7 hours on Friday without anyone in the car but himself. That might sound like it could suck to you, but to me, it sounds like a little piece of heaven. Ah the CDs. Ah the silence. Add a cup of Starbucks and it’s better than porn.

The next day we left Connor with PaPaw and took Tristan with us to the wedding so he could wow everyone with his cuteness and break any uncomfortable silences with his baby sweet giggle-scream, which he busted out right as the bride was walking down the aisle. I bribed him with cheese nips and random toys during the ceremony to keep him quiet and between that and being fascinated by Lynn who was sitting next to me he was good to go. Since Jorma was in the wedding party and so was everyone else that I knew, I was thrilled to see Lynn, one of the girls that I worked with a while back, but was even more thrilled to see that she was solo too, which meant now I had someone else to hang with. Jorma could be seen walking briskly past us every few minutes, schlepping champagne glasses, some random table or just randomly walking around with the other groomsmen, all looking like a flock of worried penguins.

They all looked worried because the wedding was delayed, oh just a little, ‘bout 2 and a half hours, due to an accident on the hwy that prevents a portion of the wedding party and a handful of guests from arriving even close to the ceremony time. The minister had another wedding to go to, so they signed the paperwork and Larry’s grandfather read the ceremony, skipping larger portions of vows and other niceties but getting the job done, in a timely and efficient manner. Having been married in Vegas though… I’m into that sort of thing.

Because I didn’t painstakingly plan out each detail of our trip to the wedding and I didn’t make myself a check list, we forgot both diaper bag and stroller. I held Tristan for about 7 hours and swapped out my cute black strappy heels for flip flops after only 4 hours, because I could not longer take the painful combination of sand and high heeled shoes but in the end it was worth it to see Larry and Dawn get hitched and almost as awesome to see Jorma in a tuxedo.  

Fun With Fire

Fun With Fire
Originally uploaded by Dewchild

More fun with fire. Slow shutter speed and willing husband is all this shot requires.

Connors First Sparkler Experience

Connors First Sparkler Experience
Originally uploaded by Dewchild

I was a little worried that Connor would try to put the sparkler in his mouth or poke one of us with it, but he did really well. His biological response system kicked in at first and he wanted nothing to do with the fire. He said, "This can bite me" when offered a sparkler at first, but came around quickly. It only took a couple of sparklers to get him hooked and then he was running over and grabbing a new one from the box as soon as his went out.

Thin Again, Begin Again

Tonight we had breakfast for dinner. Sausage, eggs and gravy biscuits. It was so delicious that it made me realize how long we’ve been eating healthy. I can’t remember the last time we had a complete, fat and calorie loaded dinner like that… and it was wonderful. We’ve been eating healthy for the past five months or so. We’ve been avoiding junk food and fast food. Jorma’s been exercising every day and I’ve been exercising off and on. Off and on means, on for two months, off for one, on for one, off for one. Like that. Jorma’s lost over 30 pounds and I’ve lost 17. I guess if I had been exercising every day for months, I’d be at a 30 pound loss too, but it’s just damn hot outside and I get lazy. The good news is that I’m at my pre Tristan weight and if I lose 15 more, I’ll be at my pre Connor weight. If I lose 10 after that, I’ll be at my pre Jorma weight. If I lost 10 past that, I’d be at my early twenties weight. My early twenties weight still wasn’t supermodel thin, but compared to the weight I am now, it would be such a joy. Just to put on something from the closet and not worry about how fat it makes me look. Just to get dressed and go. Of course when I was in my early twenties… I still thought I was fat.

I remember waiting tables and walking away from one of my customers at a table full of women as I heard her say, “I could never work here and stay that skinny.” I remember it because it was one of the few times in my life I’ve ever heard someone use the word “skinny” directed at me. I wanted to turn around and hug her and at that point didn’t care if they left me a tip at all. That also goes to show how just an offhanded comment can be something that’s never forgotten. It’s been 15-ish years since that comment and I still roll it through my head like candy on my tongue.
Looking at pictures from that time, I was skinny, maybe not in the supermodel sense, but enough that I should have been wearing a two piece instead of a one piece with a large t-shirt on top when I went to the pool. It makes me wonder no matter how much weight I lose, will it ever be enough? How many people are really happy with what they’ve be given. It makes me understand how anorexia can happen and why women scurry to the bathroom for a post binge gag although neither is anything that I’ve ever been prone too. I mean part of the joy of eating too much ice cream is walking around for the next 45 minutes with a belly full of ice cream. Own it. Love it.
Although if own it, love it was my body image philosophy I probably wouldn’t be writing this article at all.

I’m going to shoot for the next 15 pounds of pre Connor weight. After that I’ll see how motivated I am to lose the next 10 and maybe after that I’ll go ahead and lose 10 more just so I can bring my grand total up to 53 pounds. And eat Taco Bell each and every night.