Dear Connor - 31 Months

Dear Connor,
Word of the month. NO!!! Notice that is an ALL CAPS triple exclaimation point, NO!!!, because that is how you say it. Five hundred and twenty seven times a day. “Connor, would you like some juice? NO!!! Connor, would you like to go outside and play? NO!!! Five seconds later – “I WANT TO GO OOOUUTTTSSSIIIDDDEE!!!”Connor, would you like cake for breakfast? NO!!! And so on and so on… All. Day. Long. We know that you can’t help it, that you are suffering from a sickness we like to call, “Being Two Years Old” and that the sickness won’t hurt you and will only make Mommy and Daddy very tired. Sometimes when we offer you something, you yell “NO!!!” and then cling to me for dear life, as if you want us to protect you from the Pimento Cheese Sandwich that’s being offered. I kinda like that part of it truthfully. You may be disagreeable, but you still love us with all your heart.

With this, we’ve notice another change. You are slowly able to sit still for short periods of time. Short periods of time being ten minutes of playing by yourself, or sometimes 20 minutes snuggled up on the sofa watching Wow Wow Wubzy, your new favorite TV show. Wow, Wow Wubzy is the new Max and Ruby, which was the new Go, Diego Go!, which was the new Jack’s Big Music Show, which was the new Oobi.
I guess it’s the bath association but something about water makes you want to get completely naked, even if it’s a puddle that you want to splash in. Nothing makes yu happier than a hose and no clothing… even M&Ms.

We’ve been trying to bribe you with M&Ms when you pp on the potty, but potty training isn’t happening as quickly as we’d like it to. Actually, changing diapers doesn’t seem to bother me nearly as much as cleaning up pp off of the bathroom floor and rereolling an entire rollof toilet paper. Unrolling toilet paper is your favorite potty pastime.

I have to confess that I spend a fair amount of time complaining about the terrible twos and how exasperating you can be, but there are benefits to experiencing this stage. Since your Dad has been home with us for several months we’ve all grown a little bit closer. You’ve gotten to spend some quality time with your Dad and your Dad and I feel bonded in much the same way that members of a hostage crisis are.
The other benefit is that you are so damn cute that it’s impossible to stay mad at you. Because when you dump a box of tampons, unwrap one and bring it to me proudly displaying it string up and exclaiming, “Here is your birthday candle Mommy!!!” it’s pretty hard to be mad.

Today when you were naked on the front deck playing in the hose, you turned it on full force on both your Dad and me as we stood at a distance watching the reverie. We both dodged and jumped which was most amusing to you. Once you stopped squirting you said, “Was that so funny?” we both said in unison, “NO! That was NOT funny” although we couldn’t stop laughing when we said it which made us laugh even harder. You corrected us at once, “That WAS SO funny!” And… you were right.
During the same hose spray episode I was trying to take picture and dodged yet another spray with the hose. Jorma said to you, “Mommy doesn’t want to get the camera wet” to which you responded “If she does not want it wet, she needs to take it inside.” Which was both a long sentence and profound truth from a naked two year old with a hose. Touché little one.
Love,
Mommy