Did it work?

By Golly I think it did. The hypnotism that is. I’ll admit that I smoked a cigarette on the way home from my session because I wanted to see if I was broken. But since then I’ve not smoked and have had much less cravings than usual when I’ve tried to quit.
I’d actually wondered if I could be hypnotized. Supposedly hypnotism is a deeper state than the alpha brain-wave that one achieves during meditation, although it didn’t feel that way to me at all. I have some experience with meditation and it felt like I was at the alpha brainwave with someone speaking to me. I remember everything that was said and feel like I could have sat up and opened my eyes at any moment. There is no way that someone in that state could be talked into doing something that they didn’t want to do… (sorry Hollywood!)
Of course there is the argument that it’s all in my head. That I believe that it worked, or that because I spent the money on it I want to believe that it worked, but the thing is… I didn’t believe it was going to work. I was totally skeptical. I mean, I believe that people can be hypnotized; I just didn’t think that I was one of those people. And now that you know what the process feels like, let me tell you what it feels like now.
It feels like I’ve completely forgotten that I smoke. Like I keep thinking that there is something that I should be going to do, but I can’t remember what it is and then I think, “oh that’s right… I don’t smoke anymore” and I move on. Now, if you were sitting on my porch right now smoking a cigarette, I’d stop typing this immediately and go out and bum one from you, if I could remember long enough that was my intention.
I still have the craving. I still want to eat. I still have bouts of irritability. But for the most part I think I’m done with it. I might have to go again next month to stop eating… but I really feel like I’ll be smoke free.