Today our son is one year old. Everyone says it goes by fast when you have children, and I believe it, and everyone keeps saying that they can't believe it's been a year. But I can. Three months of Colic and then teething started immediately after. Moving across the country and quitting my job to stay home with the baby. Trying to learn how to be a mommy. It's been hard.
I don't know if it just comes that easily to other mommies, or if all other mommies lie, but it's hard trying to figure out what that cry means, and how much is too much, and how much is not enough. It's a time of reading and measurement, experimentation and observation. It's a time for laughter and also for tears. I think the first year of parenting lets you do at least one thing, and that's experience each and every emotion in your repatoir. Most more than once. And I mean all of them... even the ones that haven't shown their pretty heads in quite some time.
I think it takes a full year to recover as a first time mommy. I think it takes a year to recover from all of the labor, the sleep deprevation, the new schedule adjustments. It takes a year to learn to just ignore the crying without feeling guilty because you have to pee. It takes a year to stop worrying about SIDS. It takes a year to learn how to move around in your marriage with this new addition. It takes a year to learn that, it isn't just about the baby. It takes a year to be fully struck by the awe that your parents did the same thing that you are doing now. It takes a year to poke your head out in society and see what's going on again. It takes a year to relax.
So, yes, I can believe that it's been a year. But it's been a good year. And probably the most enriching in my life. So I'm glad it feels like a year, because certainly he will be in college before I know it.
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