Platypus Helps Illuminate Ovarian Cancer

Seriously.
Platypus Helps Illuminate Ovarian Cancer

Shared via AddThis

Silly's All We Got

It's getting more and more difficult to find things that are new and interesting for Connor to do for his heavy work. Tonight we got the five lb, soft squishy weight ball and had him throw it over and over onto an empty diaper box crushing it. He was so happy he was able to legally destroy something in the house, I don't think he realized he was doing the "heavy work" part of his therapy. We've had to get creative so far to find things that interest him. I've filled a gallon juice bottle with blue colored water, glitter and sparkles and we played hot potato with it, or pretended like it was a baby that had to be rocked and then put to bed. We've used the 5lb stick weight to shoot aliens. We have wheelbarrow and crab walked all over the house. We bulit a 12" square board with casters that rotate 360 degrees for him to sit on and pull himself around the house by using his hands. And that's just a few of the fun and exciting things we do all day. He needs to do things that would be to us, a good work out. He only does the heavy work for about 5 minutes and after that he needs to be tired from it. I can't believe how much strength he's built up in just two weeks. And this is where I need your help. I welcome any suggestions or ideas for things and are both fun and strengthening for him to do. Send me your ideas even if you think they are silly. Round here some days, silly's all we got.

6 Simple Steps

To enjoy the use of your ipod, first plug in your headphones.


If you can't get them plugged in, it could be because you aren't holding your mouth just right.

Once plugged in, put the earbuds into your ears.

Then, choose your music.

Sit back. Chill.

Enjoy.

Because I Said So

It's early evening and Connor is doing the "heavy-work" part of his therapy. He has a 9 lb medicine ball and is lifting it up over his head and dropping it onto the sofa. It's a fifth of his body weight. I tell him to do it five times.

He says, "I'M GOING TO DO IT 100 TIMES!!!"
I respond, "Buddy, you do that 100 times and I'll let you eat as much ice cream as you want, right out of the carton."

And when you are a parent, you have to do what you say you are going to... even when the impossible happens.

Dear Tristan - 2 Years, 9 Months

Dear Tristan,
You poor little thing. In addition to having to watch Mommy spin and play with Connor five times a day to get his therapy done, (the 6th time is with Daddy), you have developed an obsession with bugs. Today alone, I've taken the broom from you four times because you saw a piece of fuzz on the floor and thought it might be a spider. Wednesday I flushed a spider down the toliet, "sending it to the beach" of course, and you talked about it for the rest of the day. You are fascinated and frightened all at once.



You walk around the house during the day peering under furniture and in the cracks of windows trying to find bugs. In this house, if you are really looking, you are going to find them. And you do.
You are getting a little bit jealous of your brother getting so much attention right now and I feel so bad for you. I try to let you help, but it turns into a brawl with the two of you fighting over whatever object we are working with. I try to give you some extra love in the evenings after your brother goes to bed and you don't seem to mind this at all.

We also have two days a week where your brother is in his preschool program and we get to spend those together, alone. The first hour you spend at the gym with me, but afterwards we have a whole two hours for you to do the fun stuff that you've missed out on being the second child. Each time you beg me to go to the grocery store so that you can push the little kids cart around the store. You are so good at it too! Your brother tries to run the cart into displays or see how fast he can run down the aisle with it, but you are a dilligent shopper. You stay on your side of the aisle and even stop and pull something off of the shelf, pretending to read the box and then throw it in the cart. You are disappointed when I put it back explaining that we don't need soda can covers or a box of eclairs, but I do let you pick out your own ice cream, a magical experience.

You are getting so big! I'm so glad that you are still small enough to fit into my lap, so in the evenings when I read, "Meet Diego" from your Dora the Explorer Storybook, for the 200th time, I can sit with your head next to mine and smell your sweet baby smell.
The blankie is your eternal friend. You love blankie. You talk to blankie. I know for sure if there was a fire in the house and there was one thing you could grab, it would be blankie. Blankie is also the one thing that you do not have to share. If your brother tries to take it from you and I appear in the room, he instantly drops it, knowing that punishment for taking Blankie is swift and sure. We feel like if there is any one thing in this house that is completely yours... it's Blankie... well... and maybe the chair in your room.

Oh, but you love to sleep in the chair in your room. Generally, you nap in your chair during the day and sleep in your bed at night. Many nights, even if we put you in the bed, you get up and move to the chair when you are done with the "I don't want to go to bed" protest. Some mornings though, when you wake up at 6am and your "I'm ready to get up", cries are ignored, you snuggle into your chair and allow us all another hour of blissful sleep.
You are starting to fight bedtime, standing at your door crying and sometimes falling asleep in front of it. When this happens you wake up, not sure where you are screaming in terror. You'd think there was a spider in your room.
I know I should be potty training you, but I keep putting it off. You like to pee in the potty, but still cry for a diaper if I insist that you poop on the pot. I'm not sure if I am putting it off because we have so much going on right now, or because once you are trained, our baby is growing up. It's so hard to let go.
I love you,
Mommy

What it is

I haven't had much time to write because I've been busy doing therapy with Connor every 90 minutes. I know I said I would post more info about the Sensory Processing Disorder, but it's taken me this long to get a grasp on what it is, what is does and how we are going to fix it.
Connor was diagnosed with Sensory Seeking type of Sensory Processing Disorder. This disorder is also called, Sensory Integration Disorder, Sensory Modulation Disorder or Sensory Integration Dysfunction. It seems to be if they would just pick a name, maybe there would be less confusion. The Sensory Seeking part of the disorder, appears much like ADHD in a child. You know the child that can't sit still or stop talking. The child that is constantly running into other children on the playground or hitting them self or basically doing anything that will provide the stimulation they are so desperately craving.
In addition, he was diagnosed with Dyspraxia, which manifests in a fine motor skill delay. I always thought that maybe he wasn't into coloring and drawing because he didn't get the art gene. In fact, it's more likely that it's difficult for him to do because holding a pencil is hard for him. So is holding a toothbrush or a fork or anything else that requires a strong grip for functionality. It's difficult for him to catch a ball as well, which on the playground sometimes leaves him left out of ball games.
Also, they found that he has Low Muscle Tone, which, attributes to the Fine Motor Delay as well.
And this is what we are doing about it. Right now, he has therapy every 90 minutes.
His therapy consists of brushing his body, (to wake up the nerve endings that are desensitized). Then compressions where we push into the joints, for example, taking the arm while holding the elbow and pushing it back into the elbow, (this is supposed to give him the deep tissue sensation that he craves). Then there is five minutes of spinning or swinging or rolling to stimulate the hairs in the ears, which brings a nervous system response or stimulation and then since he’s pumped up after, we have to bring him down with five minutes of heavy muscle work, (lifting heavy objects, push ups, sit ups or wheelbarrow walks). The lifting heavy objects does seem to calm him down, so I’ve been having him help with more heavy work around the house.
All of this is basically retraining his nervous system. The Sensory Seeking kids, get ramped up and don’t have the ability to come back down. Doing the hard muscle work, forces their nervous system back down, sort of training it. Some of the therapy seems a little strange, but if it produces results, we'll do anything. He’s getting to where he starts to fight me on the heavy muscle work because he’s getting tired of having to do it. At least during the day he gets a solid 15 minutes of Mommy time 5 times during the day, in addition to our other activities. Jorma does therapy number 6 in the evenings. The therapy is supposed to only be every 90 minutes for a few weeks then it goes to every 2 hours then it will move to every 3 and so on. This will continue for the next nine months, at which point they will evaluate him again and see if he needs more.
All of this is hard for me too, because it seems like as soon as I start doing something, I have to stop and do his therapy. Then there’s Tristan who is starting to get jealous and doesn’t understand why Connor gets to swing and spin with Mommy and he doesn’t. His response has been bad behavior to get extra attention. It’s tough. Sometimes after I am finished with Connor, I have to then do “therapy” for Tristan, doubling the therapy time. I feel lucky to have time to throw in a load of laundry.
Or blog. In fact, above is mostly an excerpt from another email I sent to a friend that was asking after Connor. But I wanted to post some information for those of you that are checking the blog to see how things are going.
Things are going well... considering Mommy feels like she's drowning some days.
They said that in six weeks we will see a drastic difference in Connor. I've heard from other Moms that in just two we should start to see improvement. I'm looking forward to it, not just for our own good, but for Connors. It must be awful to not be able to stop doing the things that you know will get you in trouble. I can't imagine how it must feel to go into shutdown each night due to over stimulation, (this is what led us to start seeking help in the first place). Connor would get so ramped up that he couldn't even eat his dinner. It's like he was having a mini nervous breakdown each evening and while it was hard on us, certainly it's even harder on him. I'm just glad that we were able to find some resolution and hopefully start taking the steps that he needs to get him back on an even keel again.

Dear Connor - 4 years, 7 months

Dear Connor,
Once you told your Grammie Kathi that you wanted to be good, and you didn't know why you couldn't be. We thought for a long time you were just "all boy" and that maybe you were just really, really tired at the end of the day when you couldn't slow down. After a while, once you passed through your terrible twos and the "even worse three's" you still were non stop. It started to appear that there might be a problem.
In fact, I thought there was a problem well before that. By well before, I mean when you were one year old and displaying little quirks that we were sure weren't normal. You wouldn't make eye contact, you didn't want to be held, you wouldn't let us brush your teeth, you didn't really play with toys. I researched Autism. I was afraid. Your Dad was worried. I talked to the Dr. she didn't take it seriously, you know, me being a new Mom and all.




At two years old I went back to the Dr. explaining that you were unusually active. The diagnosis was that you were "a boy". That we needed to be more consistant. In part this was because you were only having problems at home and I reported no problems at school... because none were reported to me.
A year later I was back. Explaining that something was off. That it wasn't normal for a little boy to be as active and frenetic as you became in the evenings. That it wasn't sleep deprevation, and it wasn't just me not being able to handle my own child. Again she was going to lecture me on consistancy until I said the words, Sensory Processing Disorder. Then she said that she could recommend someone and did. They had a year long waiting list for diagnosis.
While I was trying to find more information to help you, I started getting reports of your bad behavior in school. I was confused by this since I had not had any reports of bad behavior any of the previous years. I called to speak to the Director of your preschool, because I thought that if all of a sudden you were misbehaving this badly, that your new teacher, (who, later we came to love) had expectations that were too high. Imagine my surprise when the director informed me, (without any compassion), that the year before your teacher had been in her office several times about your behavior. No one had ever mentioned this to me. Imagine my fury. And suddenly, it all started coming together. Holy shit. Maybe it wasn't just me.

The Director was going to call me back to let me know why I was never informed of any problems you were having, which she never bothered to do. That didn't matter to me, since I wasn't going to bother putting you back into that preschool the next year, but more importantly it was the missing piece of the puzzle. And it spurred me into action.
We had you evaluated by the school system, which turned out nothing useful since you had no problems in congnitive areas. In fact you showed to be quite bright in several areas. They did think that you should be evaluated for a Sensory Processing Disorder.


Through a friend of a friend that had a Sensory kid, we found a private office that would evaluate you without a year long wait. During your first screening I was told that you obviously had sensory issues. I cried... from relief.
Yesterday, your Dad and I went for your full evaluation. They reported that you have a Sensory Processing Disorder (Sensory Seeking), Dyspraxia (Fine Motor Skill Delay) and difficulty sequencing actions. I'll get more into the details of it all later, but in short, after about 9 months of Occupational Therapy you'll be just fine. I can not tell you how relieved we are, not for our own sanity, although that's some of it, but because soon it will be easier to be "good".
Because it took a whole lot of me ignoring bad advice from other people and trusting my instincts. Because when I told you in another entry that we would always fight for you, I wasn't kidding.
I'm so glad your mine,
Mommy

Dear Tristan 2 Years, 8 Months

Dear Tristan,
Today was the last day of your first year of preschool. You loved going and playing with your friends, even if it took you the five months to stop crying when I dropped you off. Oh no, I don't think it was that you didn't like school... I think you just wanted me to stay and hang out with you while you were there.



A few weeks ago, we were walking into the school and a little girl that I've never met said, "THERE'S TRISTAN!" to her Mommy. Another little girl, quickly turned around and said, "Hiiii Triistaann!" with a look so coy I felt a pang of pity for her parents when she hits high school. You stopped and beamed at both girls and then went on about your business. Your business being project: chase brother to the classroom. The ladies love you. You loved your teacher and so did we. It makes me sad to know that we are finished for the Summer. Next year you are going to a different school, with a new set of teachers and I'm nervous already.


You and your brother are still fighting as always, but you still can not bear to be apart. When I put him into his room for time out, you inevitably end up closed up in yours because you keep trying to let him out. I try to explain that he's in there for beating on you and that he has to finish his time, but you don't understand crime and punishment yet.
You've gotten tall quickly and introduce yourself to perfect stangers as either Batman or Ironman. You are starting to speak so clearly that even people that don't hang out with 2 year olds all day can understand you. I'm very proud of your verbal skills.


Holy crap you are smart. I mean SMART. Now your brother is no dummy so I guess being the second child, you get that second child advantage. The other day your brother pulled a shirt out of his drawer and laid it across his chest so you couldn't see the picture on the front. "Guess what this shirt is, Tristan!", he exclaimed. You tossed him a look over your shoulder and said, "Clean." and went on your way. Glad to know you got the smart-ass gene.
We are going to have a fantastic Summer. With all of our beach trips and the Summer fun we've planned I'm almost sad that you probably won't have any memories of it. Not to worry, love. I'll take lots of pictures.
I love you,
Mommy

Easter Sunday

Yeah, they'll leave muddy footprints on your floor and eat your candy when you aren't looking... but aren't they cute in their sweaters?


I like in the above picture how you can see Connor "Accidently on Purpose" holding his brother by the neck.


And how all things blend into chaos.

Catching Up

One of the first things to go when I get busy is the blog. Writing should take precedence since it's "me" time and because it's cheaper than a therapist, but it starts to feel like a second, (or 6th) job to me. Because I've been busy getting my CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) Certification, working and taking care of the boys, I've got some catching up to do. We'll go back to Easter and start from there. See my bunny cake?! Jorma says next year I should make it Red Velvet cake on the inside. ew.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Several of you have heard about the ear problem I was having and asked me if I tried this or that. I want you all to know that I tried everything. And to display proof of my desperation, here’s the list of what I tried.
Externally; the ENT, Chiropractor, Full Body Massage with lymphatic drainage, steam, hot packs, cold packs, ice packs and heating pad (dry heat). I even turned on the Sonic Toothbrush and held it to my ear to try to vibrate the stuff out of it, (this sounds strange, but it sort of helped).
In the ear I tried; garlic oil, steroid drops, sweet oil, vinegar, wax removal drops, hot water.
In the nose I tried; neti pot with a squirt of nasal decongestant (this probably helped the most out of anything but OMG it hurt like a Mother$%&#$@!), neti pot with salt water, saline nose spray.

Internally I tried; Sudafed, antibiotics, steroids, Omega 3, 4000 mg of Vit C daily, Ibuprofen, Red Algae, Echinacea/Goldenseal, Hot Tea
Just to feel better I tried; Smoking, Milkshakes, Hot baths and Chocolate
Ultimately I think the thing that worked the best was the Neti Pot… and time.

Breaking the Surface

Ok, so my ear is finally on the mend and I’m starting to feel like I’m functional again. I feel like I've been underwater and I'm breaking the surface. I know it sounds crazy that something as simple as fluid in the ear can be so debilitating, but it was. It was so distracting to not be able to hear that I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. It’s difficult to carry on a conversation with someone when you hear your own voice so clearly in your head. It’s sort of like when you hear yourself on the answering machine and say, “Do I REALLY sound like that?” It’s also difficult to focus on what someone else is saying when you hear everything in stereo. So if you have talked to me in the past month and it seemed like I wasn’t really paying attention. I wasn’t. Just so we are clear.
In the meantime, I’ve got some catching up to do.
During the past few weeks I did get one major thing accomplished. I completed my CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) Class. Now I just have to study like crazy and take the state test in a couple of weeks. In case you are wondering what in the hell I’m doing taking a CNA class, let me enlighten you. I’ve decided to go back to school for nursing. Some of you will be astounded by this, being that I have such a cool career as a graphic designer going for me. However, it’s not so cool to watch your field dry up before your very eyes as soon as someone even thinks the word recession. Plus, now that the online templates and design programs have become “idiot proof” the mainstream of start up companies that utilized graphic designers to get their corporate presence situated are now doing it themselves. Not to mention websites that offer design bids, where the average joe can get a logo for $50.00. Why don’t I hop on one of these websites and get some work there you might ask? Because in the end you are still competing with people in other countries, (you know, the countries that hold our talk centers), that will do the design for a quarter of the price I would charge. I’m just not willing to do the work if I’m only making $5.00 an hour. But I digress.
When Jorma was unemployed two years ago, I realized one thing. If had a degree in nursing I could have walked out the door and gotten a full time job with benefits. Hell, I probably could have gotten a full time job AND a part time job, just to glue us together until he found something else. Instead I searched for six months before finally landing a fantastic design gig with a company that I still do side work for. But now that he’s working and I’m not, I know one thing for sure. If he gets laid off… we are screwed. So, I’m going to step up to the plate.
Now, please don’t make the mistake of thinking that when I say I’m stepping up to the plate it means that currently I’m lying on the sofa eating bon bons all day while the children play quietly in the corner. I stay pretty busy. Managing the house, the kids, the laundry, (OMG the laundry), going to the gym and working part time is more than a full time job in itself. So much so that when I was working a temp part time design gig last fall I savored each Friday because I could go and pee without a child in the bathroom with me. And lunch with the girls. In a restaurant. A restaurant that doesn’t have a giant mouse for a mascot! Oh the glory.So, I'm going back to school. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with the kids when I get into nursing school, since it's a full time gig. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Until then, I've got some studying to do... and some laundry. Always the laundry.

Still Crazy After All This Ear

The ear is still clogged. I can’t tell if it’s getting better or if I’m just getting used to it. At any rate, because it’s not seeming to improve on it’s own, I guess I just have to figure out how to work around it and assume life as normal. The problem is, working around it. I hate large groups or crowded places because I can’t hear and I really am not as chatty as before, because everything I say is repeated in stereo inside of my ear. It’s driving me nuts.

Physician Heal Thyself

Monday, after an excruciating day of clock watching, counting the seconds until I could go to the ENT, I finally went. I fully expected him to look into my ear and mumble about how it was completely blocked with wax, put in a suction thingy and pull the space alien out of my ear canal. Instead, he looked into my ear, said it was clean and promptly sent me to the audiologist (in the same building) so I could have a hearing test and they could test the pressure on my ear. After spending almost $400.00 for the visit, I expected magic. What I got was a hurry up and wait diagnosis. The ear is full of fluid from the infection, (the infection is probably gone) and it may take a couple of weeks to clear up. A couple of weeks.
Jorma’s right that its better just because I know there isn’t a huge tumor pressing on the ear canal and the fluid in the ear diagnosis is a good problem to have, if I have to have a problem with my ear at all. The problem is that the fluid is still putting pressure on the ear drum, which means I can’t hear and I’m in pain still. And I’m dizzy.
The Dr. didn’t put me back on steroids, mainly because of the uncontrollable crying that was going on in his office. Apparently with some people, steroids cause hormonal type mood swings, (think CRAZY INTENSE PMS - think first trimester pregnancy) and I am one of those people. He said that it would take longer but he didn’t think I should go back onto the steroids. He did not use the term “bat shit crazy” although I’m quite certain he was thinking it.
Yesterday I went to the Chiropractor, hoping that he could provide a little bit of relief by straightening out my jaw which was killing me and possibly cleaning the path for ear to drain. I mean, after you’ve spent $400.00 on an ear dr. what’s another $40.00, right? The Chiro did tell me that I might start feeling some drainage an hour or so after my adjustment. I did, but it was all in the sinuses… I didn’t even realize I HAD anything left in my sinuses. But the ear didn’t drain. So. Still in pain. Still can’t hear.  
I guess that means I’m going to have to work on speeding up the healing myself. You know, onion poultices, and garlic oil in the ear. Vampires beware.

No good deed goes unpunished

I first have to take a minute to brag about the auction that we put on for one of the Moms in my MOMS Club who is fighting breast cancer. I’ve been absorbed in auction details, spending most of my preschool free time, collecting donations and organizing the event. The auction was held last Saturday and we raised over $4600.00 for our friend. It was a lot of work but now that it’s over, I couldn’t be prouder, (or happier to have my life back!). We had 18 volunteers from the club, women that selflessly gave up time and money and things to help in any way they could. I’ve never been so impressed by a group of women. I’m going to get them all to run for Congress next election.

I was so busy running around and worrying about the auction, during the auction that I lost out on several good deals. Things that I really wanted to purchase, but didn’t get a chance to. Well, I was worrying, blowing my nose and trying not to breathe on anyone, because the day of the auction. I had the flu.
I told Jorma two months ago that the day of the auction I would have the flu. I said this because of my experience with May Race at the track which I worked for several years in a row with the flu each time. It’s just the way it works for me.

The night after the auction, I was exhausted. I was too sick to really be happy about my (our) accomplishment and all I wanted to do was sleep. This ensured that I stayed up all night with my left ear which started throbbing about 10pm. By morning I was damn near hysterical from lack of sleep and pain and Jorma took me into the Urgent Care where I was diagnosed with Swimmers Ear, Inner Ear Infection, Flu and Pink Eye. Because I don’t do anything half-assed.

It’s been a week now and the ear is still not back to normal. I called the Dr. on Tuesday and was prescribed a stronger antibiotic and a steroid. The antibiotic caused Oral Thrush which I had last time I was sick and Thursday I was medicated for that as well. The steroids are making me a little bit loopy and I can’t say I like that at all. The bonus of 10 lbs of water weight and extreme nervousness isn’t helping me either. But worse of all, I can barely hear out of my left ear. I have an appointment with an ENT on Monday. This is scaring me for several reasons, not the least of which is that I can’t keep up with the children because I watch them with my ears as much with my eyes. I never realized this until I started suffering from this, how I know what they are up to by each little sound I hear. The other morning I let Tristan go downstairs before Connor and I but wasn’t able to hear him open the freezer and get out the ice cream. When we came downstairs five minutes later he was sitting on the floor of the kitchen with a half gallon of ice cream and a spoon munching away. Connor immediately shrieked, “WHY DOES TRISTAN GET ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST?!” and it was on.
You’d think that I’d appreciate the lack of hearing just a little bit because it would block out some of the noise from the kids. The problem is because the hearing that I have is so robotic that when the kids get loud and shrill, it actually starts hurting my ears. And it’s loud a lot around here.
So add the kids’ noise causing me pain, to not being able to taste from the oral thrush, not being able to sleep and the mood swings from the steroids, to the ten lbs of water weight, the balance problems and giving up cheese for lent… well… it’s just happy happy around here. I’ll post my ENT results on Monday. Wish me luck.

FW: Your blog.....

Because I knew that giving up cheese would be shocking to some… Here's a peek from my Inbox:

From: Pattie
Sent: Wednesday, March 11, 2009 5:30 PM
To: Janice
Subject: Your blog.....

YOU GAVE UP CHEESE?????!!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????!!!!! THE ORIGINAL MISS I NEED A CHEESE PATCH GAVE UP CHEESE???!!!!

ALRIGHT, JUST WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH JANICE???????

Dear Connor - 4 Years, 4 Months

Dear Connor,
Better late than never with your letter this month. Between cleaning up after you and your brother and managing this silent auction, I've been quiet busy. One of the girls that's in my MOMS Club has breast cancer and we've been putting together an auction to help her with the medical bills. Before I had children I would have been sympathetic, but now after having children I realize that all children are my children. All the children that are starving, lonely or hurting are my children. All of the children whose Mommy's are sick are my children. Because I can look at you and your brother and see how fortunate we are. Because I can look at your and your brother and see how fickle fortune can be and if something ever happened to me or your Dad, I would want someone to help you and your brother the same way. Because I look at those children and think, what if they were mine. You and your brother have changed my life in more ways than sleep deprevation and extra loads of laundry. You've made this world, our world. And I want to help change it for you.

But oh, let's move on to happier things... like how much you torture the cat and how he loves you so. Maybe somewhere in his little cat brain, he knew he was in a shelter. And he feels like any love is good love, even if it means that he's carried around from room to room in the house and plopped down on the floor, so that you can fall on the floor next to him and pet him. You tell him about your swimming lessons and how your day at school went. You tell him about your monsters at night and assure him you will protect him from them. In the morning when you wake up, he materializes out of thin air waiting to undergo the morning routine of playing fetch with his mouse.

Oh! I remember what I was going to write. Your memory is coming online. You are suddenly remembering things from last summer, like the frosted animal crackers that I packed into our beach bag. They completely melted and you and your brother ate them anyway. Apparently that was quite memorable for you because the other day you said, "MOMMY! I REMEMBER SOMETHING IN MY BRAIN!" and reminded me about those animal crackers. That means that you might be storing away some memories from your childhood that you will be able to recall in the next few years. Maybe you'll remember how yesterday when I was outside raking leaves, you came running up to me to tell me that you had broken the toliet seat.

When I ran to the bathroom, I was glad you had broken the toliet seat, because it made me hurry into the bathroom and see that you had also shoved a watering can underneath the sink faucet, left it running and then forgotten about it in your haste to tell me about the toliet seat. The watering can had filled and because the spout was hanging out of the sink over the counter, maybe you'll remember the water pouring out of the spout onto the countertop and down the cabinets. Maybe you'll remember the look on Mommy's face when she saw the countertop, the broken toliet seat and the trival fact that the toliet was so full of poop and paper that it needed to be plunged.
Although it's more likely, you'll remember that you went to the bathroom and then Mommy came in and started yelling at you. I'm sure your therapist will tell you it wasn't your fault at all.
I love you,
Mommy

A Fast Decision

I’ve given up all sorts of stuff for Lent. Alcohol, chocolate, soft drinks, fast food and one year I even gave up sex. Giving up sex was relatively easy since I was single and not seeing anyone, but let me tell you… if you are single and looking, give up sex for lent and see what happens. Suddenly men will start crawling out of the woodwork. Give up chocolate and you’ll be faced with a Speedway buffet of nothing but delicious chocolate delicacies. Give up fast food and find that you have to starve until you get home to make a sandwich.
There’s no need to remind me that I’m not Catholic, but I really like the idea of sacrifice for spirituality. And if I’m going to give something up, what better time than when everyone else is doing it too? You know, just to be part of the “in crowd”, (since I’m so into that sort of thing).
This year I debated what the sacrifice should be. I considered sugar, which is in everything. I thought about high fructose corn syrup. I thought about fast food. But in the end, I settled on giving up cheese. You read that right. Cheese. Even Jorma, doubted my ability to stop with the cheese lovin’, since he lives with me and knows it’s my main staple. In fact, I think he might have used the words, “No. Way.” Is that a challenge?
So far it’s been over a week and I’m doing quite well. It does make me stop and think before I put anything into my mouth because I have to take that momentary pause to ask myself if it has cheese in it. I also didn’t realize how often I grab a pinch of cheese while cooking dinner and pop it into my mouth or how often I finish the pimento cheese sandwich that the kids didn’t eat. It’s a reflex that’s probably costing me a whole lot of calories each day, not to mention the fat grams. I have discovered though, that there are foods that I’ve never eaten without cheese. Turkey Reuben, Turkey Sandwich, Pasta Primavera, Spaghetti. All taste pretty good with out the cheese. I was disappointed to find that the croutons I usually put on our salads have cheese in them and had to pick them off and move them to the kids’ plates. And do you know? That cheese-free salad wasn’t bad at all.
All I know is I can’t wait until after Easter. There is fondue waiting for me.

Almost Famous

Recently, I was contacted by wefeelfine.org about having an blurb from my blog and a picture of Tristan published in a book that's been put together by the creators of the site. The site gathers emotions that have been written with the words,"I feel" randomly from the web and puts them into an applet that allows you to click and see what people in the world are feeling at that present moment. It's a neat idea and I'm glad to be a part of it. My blurb will appear in the section on mothers who blog. The quote is,"I feel our baby days slipping away". You may remember the picture from this post. It's the image at the very bottom with the tractor in the background. Not the best shot, right? They wouldn't allow me to send a better one from the same age.
Although I've requested a plug for my site, they aren't publishing that information, instead they will just publish my name and give me credit as writer and photographer. And just like that. Almost famous.

All Hail the Dustbuster

It's 3:15 pm on Thursday and I hear Tristan calling me, the way he does when he wakes up from his nap. It's been quiet upstairs so I know he's been sleeping. I mean, what else could he be doing for that long and be that quiet? I open the door to his room and am hit by the pungent smell of fresh baby bottoms. I flip on the light and see that Tristan is not in his crib. As I turn to look on top of the changing table, Tristan holds his arms out to me and says, "TADA!". I wish the pictures showed the light coating of all of the baby powder on everything in the room. I wish they showed you the smell. I wish they showed you how I just went completely numb and said, "Don't move", as I walked to our room to get the camera, the call to poison control, or the 45 minutes it took to clean it all up. But mostly I wish they showed you how pleased Tristan was for the hour that he was partying in his room instead of napping. All hail the dustbuster. And the Swiffer wet jet, the vacuum and half a container of baby wipes.