Why Lazy Rocks

At first I thought about having a birthday party for Tristan… a big one. A party with a circus theme where our fabulous friends would volunteer to work a fishing booth, a face painting booth and pick a duck. I was going to give the kids tickets that they could use for rides and to buy their food. I was going to make signs and rent a bounce house.
I bought invitations, grab bag goodies from the internet and invited Tristan’s preschool class. Then about three days later, I came out of whatever haze I was living in and realized that, 1. that party would be a LOT of work and 2. I really didn’t have that much time to put into it. So, I called everyone in Tristan’s class, (only the ones that didn’t get the email that I sent) to tell them that the party was cancelled. No one asked why, which was good, because I didn’t have to explain that, his party was cancelled because in an attempt to make up for the fact that Tristan hasn’t yet had a “real” birthday party all his own, his own mother realized that he’s only 2 years old and probably wouldn’t remember which prize he got from picking a duck in the first place.
So then I decided to just do the circus theme for Connor’s party since I already had the ideas and the grab bag stuffs. Tristan would have just as much fun at Brother’s party and next year Tristan would have a big party of his own… I mean both of the kids are so little that we could take them to Dollywood, tell them its Disney and they'd never know the difference, but then again I realized… I had no desire to put the whole thing together. Without a play set in the backyard, what would the kids do for three hours? I am perfectly capable of entertaining 10 kids if the yard is set up for it... but entertaining 10 kids and 10 parents... well that's a whole different story, unless a keg is involved.
So, we decided to have Connor’s party at Space Kidets, one of the bounce places filled with arcade games and jumpable inflatables where you have your party in their space. We were able to have the whole place to ourselves for dare I say, just a little more than we would have spent having the party at our house. The kids bounced and then sang happy birthday to Connor and had cake. I didn’t even serve or cut the cake. It was fabulous. I didn’t have to spend a week cleaning the house. I didn’t have to worry about what we would do if it rained, (which is did). We just showed up, bounced, had cake and went home. It was wonderful! I loved it and so did the kids. I think they definitely had more fun than they would have in our backyard and it was completely mosquito free. And do you know what I did the night before? I laid on the couch, watched Jon Stewart and painted my toenails. I can't think of a better way to throw a party.

Rock the Vote

Yeah Baby! Today after dropping the kids off at school, my friend Amy and I waited in line for an hour and a half so we could vote. We didn't have any excitement in our line, no riots or arguements, no complaining or campaigning, in fact, we were the first 20 or so in line, since the voting did not open until 11am and we were there at 9:30am (Yay Amy for bringing me a latte!!!). Our part off the line just happened to go right through the kids section of the library which had chairs that we were able to sit in and a table that we were able to put our coffee on.
I missed having my laptop with me, had I known I would have brought it so that everyone in line could watch movie trailers for an hour and a half. It did make me feel sorry for Jorma who waited for 31/2 hours without his ipod or portable DVD player. I guess having all of the entertainment technology in the world doesn't do us any good when we leave it at home. Note to self, the ipod should be living in the purse.
I'm glad our household is finally done with our civic duty though, I feel kind of like I do when I finish my Christmas shopping. As far as who I voted for, (you know you are just dying to know), if you know me personally... you don't even have to ask.

Dear Connor - 4 Years

Dear Connor,

It doesn't even feel like it's been four years since you came into our lives. Time starts moving faster once you have children. Everyone tells me that in the blink of an eye, you'll be off to college and then having children of your own. Right now I just try to enjoy the years of your childhood before they pass us by. The occasions that you are still snuggly and sweet and in many ways closer to baby than to little boy.

Those times are further and further apart though. You are able to play with more complicated toys now. Toys that actually require action to work, turning a jack in the box or cranking up a car so that it will propell itself down the hallway. You've never had much interest in toys that don't DO anything. Give you a plastic dinosaur and you'll hold it for a while and then try to bounce it off of a wall by throwing it at the ceiling fan. Give you a play kitchen and you'll climb on it and use it to play king of the hill with your brother. But with a flashlight in a darkened room you are the happiest kid in the world. I keep trying to play Candyland with you, but you want to make up your own rules, (the rules that we end up playing by) which invoves no turn-taking, not keeping the same color game piece and just randomly grabbing cards and moving our men around the board. I really made an effort with Candyland to teach you about sportmanship and turn taking, but you just don't have the attention span for it yet.

You've mastered using the computer mouse. It's taken you several weeks to get it, but now you hold it just like Mommy and Daddy do when you play your games. The website for all of the cartoons that you watch, has age appropriate games that you can play and we can definately say that we've been taking advantage of it. It's nice to have friends come for dinner and move you into the office to play your games so that we can have an adult conversation that's not punctuated by a high pitched voice whining for cookies. We don't let you play that often but when we do, you absolutely love it. I can see how parents that have sworn never to have a video game in the house finally relent. Now when I watch you use the mouse I realize that your generation will start to have carpal-tunnel in their late twenties, from using a mouse from so early in life.

Your birthday was yesterday and it was a fantastic day for you. Your class sang happy birthday to you and you had special frosted birthday cookies after lunch. You had birthday cake after dinner and then got to open the presents from Mommy and Daddy. You got a book of spooky tales, a nerf football, a hypercycle set (two motorcycles that you click into a slot on a ramp so when you crank the hand crank on the side the cycles launch forward at top speed), a ring pop (which you promply ate), the 3rd in the series of Alladin videos and a memory matching game. You were beside yourself with joy. The joy wasn't even from the presents as much as from Mommy taking little brother upstairs so you and Daddy could race hypercycles down the hallway unmolested by your brother.

I'm glad that the terrible twos and tormenting threes are behind us now and we are now standing on the precipace of your boyhood. I think 4 years old might be my favorite age, because you are mature enough to carry on a conversation and have some self control but still young enough that I can carry you upstairs to bed.

Happy Birthday Baby-love,

Mommy

Train of Naught

I started a post late last week, but ran off to chase the kids for one reason or another and when I returned, the gmail format had completely changed and my post was missing. Not just from gmail or my computer, but also from my brain.
I tried to find it last night, but it wasn't in drafts or lurking anywhere else so I just gave up. Part of what sent me on the search was the fact that I remembered starting a blog post... but totally forgot what I was writing about.
This morning I remembered what I was posting about and decided to rewrite it at some point this week. Sure I forget things like everyone else, (especially when it's convenient) but for the most part, I've always had a really good memory. I'm not sure if it's old age creeping in, distraction or just being busy with the kids, but I could NOT believe that I just completely forgot what I had been writing about. How can I forget that, but remember every detail of the funeral that broke my heart? Why can't we pick and choose our details of memory? Ben Franklin said that he had a great memory because he forced himself to forget all of the things that he didn't need to remember. That would be great. Then I could forget my exboyfriends favorite color and remember my blog post.

Dear Tristan - 2 Years, 1 Month

Dear Tristan,
You've finally decided that you love school. Two days ago when you went in you saw your teacher in the hallway and went running, pell-mell, tumble-bumble, full speed ahead. There is nothing cuter than you running with your arms swinging all around you and a smile on your face. I saw your teachers face light up when she saw your smile and I know for sure, your super power is sweetness and light.

You have a sense of humor too and I just love it. You love to laugh but even more, you love making other people laugh. We are a pretty happy family as it is, but your antics crack us up... even your brother.
You have a natural rhythm and love music and dancing. I've seen many kids dance and most of them look like a monkey on expresso, but you can actually move to the beat. We encourage it too, not only because it's adorable, but because we are always trying to do anything and everything to let you work out that energy so that you will sleep.
I would be remiss if I didn't write at least something about the sleeping habits that you've developed. We took the front panel off of your crib, so that you could get in and out on your own. You do have a bed rail not because we thought that the 12 inch fall from your toddler bed would hurt you in any way, but because you might wake up from it and let the entire house know of your displeasure at say, 3am.

Because you have the freedom to get in and out of your bed at will, you've been experimenting with different areas to sleep in your room. We have a lazyboy chair in your room that we've sat in to rock both you and your brother as babies. This is your prefered place of sleeping. You get your blanket, (still called gankie) and a stuffed animal or two and curl up in the chair for a nap or to sleep for the night. Sometimes you read a book or two until you get sleepy and then just drift off.
Many times you try to crawl behind the chair into the corner and curl up with your blanket to sleep. I wonder if the corner is like a womb because it's enclosed or because you're just that stubborn. It does look cozy with you all curled up there, purple dinosaurs and all.

There is something else that I feel is necessary to mention and it's this, you can say either Mama or Daddy for 10 solid minutes, each word perfectly spaced apart so it sounds like a metronome. You do this because you know for sure that either Mommy or Daddy will turn around and ask what we can do for you. Anything to make it stop. It doesn't mean that you are going to get the cookie that you are demanding, in fact it's more likely that you won't and will deciding that your metronome method won't work that you'll try the tantrum method instead. And if the tantrum method won't work, you'll resort to throwing whatever is next to you or hitting your brother.
You are definately proving that you are fully immersed in the terrible twos... it's a good thing you're so damn cute.
I love you,
Mama

Just Finished Reading

The Road, Cormac McCarthy
This is a beautiful and tragic piece about a father and son traveling across the country in the wake of total global melt down. If you read this book, I promise no matter how bad your day is... you'll realize it could be much worse.
I'm trying to get the husband to read it now because I'm dying to talk to someone about it. I'd highly recommend it if you are between books and are looking for an intense read about total and complete devastation and the spark of hope and love. And then shoot me an email and let me know what you thought... and if you were ready to re-pack your survival bags too.

Dear Connor - 3 Years, 11 Months

Dear Connor,
I don't remember what time of day this picture was taken, but because you are watching television it must be around 9am. You and brother don't watch a whole lot of television mostly because, (and remember this when you have children of your own)... if the TV is on all the time, it won't work when you need it to. If I don't turn the TV on all day and then turn it on at 5pm when I'm starting dinner, you'll be glued to it. But if the TV's been on all day long, you're glued to me instead.
When I came into the living room to check on you and your brother, you had the chair propped up and were watching television. When I asked you to put the chair down on it's feet you looked completely baffled. And then of course you told me no. Then I said, yes and then we fought about it and then I took it away and you cried and then your brother started crying just because he thought he should help you out and I wheeled the chair back into the office wondering why everything has to turn into complete chaos.



In early September Grammy Kathi came to visit and oh did we have fun. The city we live in was holding a end of summer festival giving us a full afternoon and evening of entertainment. This was the first time that you've ever ridden a carnival type ride by yourself and you weren't as impressed as I thought you'd be. What you can't see in this picture is how you spent the entire time you were on this ride, turned around, chatting up the chics behind you.




Your first pony ride. Maybe by now you know how much Mommy loves horses and always wished for one. Mommy still wishes for one and believe me if we lived out in the country you would have one, but we don't so you'll have to settle for the ponies at the fair for now. You seemed completely unamazed by the pony ride while I walked next to you in a circle, with a large lump in my throat as you rode your first horse.



Daddy took this picture at the same festival right after you rode the pony. The sky opened up and all of a sudden the rain started to fall in drops as large as grapes. We took cover under the awning of a fudge tent where you Dad felt obligated to purchase at least one piece of candy. We all shared it and then after determining that we really weren't staying dry anyway, we sent you and your brother out to play in the rain. Truthfully, I think for the both of you, it was more fun than the ponies.

Near the end of our trip to the festival I rode the carousel with you one last time. In between waves at Daddy, I turned to look at you. You're belly was full of cotton candy, chicken on a stick and funnel cake. Daddy stood on the sidelines holding the Sponge Bob that he won for you while playing a water gun game. You were damp from playing in the rain. Just by looking at your face I could tell what you were feeling and it was total and complete happiness. I don't mean that you were just smiling and looking around. I mean you were so happy that it radiated from the depths of your soul. I felt it. It touched me and was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.
I love you,
Mommy

Dear Tristan - 2 Years Old

Dear Tristan,
A few days ago, you were standing next to me while I rummaged through the pantry and I offered you a graham cracker. You literally threw yourself onto the floor, across my feet and started a tantrum that lasted for about ten minutes. I at first was completely baffled. So baffled in fact that I just stood there for a few minutes trying to figure out what that was all about. Then I remembered that you are two years old. I picked you up, put you onto the sofa and then ate the graham cracker myself. That’ll teach you.In your defense I’d like to point out that the next day the stomach virus you were carrying emerged and I realized that maybe that might have had something to do with it as well. Sometimes, it’s just hard to tell.




For your (and your brothers) birthday Papaw and Nana got you a pint sized table and chairs. You love it so. Every day you go in and sit at your table and look at your books, pointing to the pictures of things that you know and saying them to yourself softly. It’s the sweetest thing ever.
I tried singing to you on your birthday several times but each time I got to the second line, you would put your hand over my mouth and say, “Sto” which is the way that you say stop. After Daddy came home and we had your mini birthday party you were so distracted by the cake that was being moved in front of you that you allowed me to sing without protest. And when we asked you to blow out the candle, you did it like you’d done it a thousand times before. I always knew you were an old soul.
You are getting into dinosaurs and are really starting to dig your crayons and paints. You are like Zorro with an ink pen and I have to confess to sitting down and crying one day last week when you took a permanent marker to the sofa in the playroom. The stain guard that’s on it can handle anything… except that. I was only out of the room for a minute… ok ok, it was four minutes… but not a minute more. I’m sure that you don’t harbor any guilt from it, which is just as well since it’s my fault for not moving the pens out of the child proofed drawer. The child proofed drawer that I caught your brother teaching you how to open. You see, your brother wants you to open that drawer. In fact, he encourages it, because he enjoys seeing you in time out. In much the same way that you enjoy doing something and then pointing at Connor and blaming him. If a complete stranger saw the two of you in a room together, they wouldn’t doubt for a second that you were brothers.


You’ve started school and we were lucky enough to get the same teacher the Connor had for you. We love her and so do you. The first few times you were dropped off you were just fine, but since have decided that maybe it’s not that great after all and that you’d rather be with me, asking where your brother is every fifteen seconds for the next four hours. As we approach the door you begin crying, but I know as I’m slipping away that I’ll soon be forgotten as you make paintings with golf balls and sing songs about wheels on buses and blind mice. When I come to retreive you the smile that awaits me is so full of joy that it was worth listening to the tears, just to see you so happy that I've come back. I'll always come back.
Happy Birthday Sugar Bear,
Mommy

Feed Me Free

For some reason I stumbled onto the Oprah site recently and found this article. It involves a 21 day body cleanse eliminating all meat, dairy, alcohol, caffine, sugar and gluten and I've decided to try it. Since quitting smoking, I've gained 15 pounds despite working out 2 or 3 times a week. I'm in the same clothes, so it means that as I'm gaining muscle and losing inches, I'm also gaining fat to take it's place and I thought maybe the body cleanse might be just the thing to jump start my metabolism again.
I'm on day 2 today and I'm already doubting my wisdom in this endeavor. Why am I doing this again? I'm looking for the extra boost of energy and clarity that is supposed to come from a body cleanse. I want to see if removing these things from my diet really is magical. Or just a bunch of hype. From day 2 I can tell you that the only thing that would be magical so far is a soy or rice milk cheese that doesn't taste like well, for lack of a better term... ass.

Currently Watching: The RNC

Ok, first I'd like to say that the baby that is so conviently placed in his Daddy's arms, sleeping, has got to be Benedryl-ed, (at best). Second, I'd like to ask where is the Palin family nanny? Why is the baby even THERE? Quite honestly if the baby can't be away from the parents during the RNC, this VP thing might end up to be a little bit of a hassle. I mean, not right away, because everyone loves a baby, but ya know, around the terrible twos it might make press conferences a little more difficult. But then again, maybe the Shew-ee in the Palin baby's diaper is just the tension breaker we need during Middle East peace talks.
And NO I DID NOT just see her 5 year old daughter, licking her hand and smoothing down her 4 month old brothers hair. OMG that grosses me out. I hope she didn't have curry for dinner. Would someone please come and take this baby put him in a quiet room with his blankie before his Ambien wears off? Poor little bitty.

Dear Connor - 3 Years, 10 Months

Dear Connor,
We took our last beach trip of the Summer a few weeks ago and you had a blast. You were almost fearless in the surf this time and kept demanding to remove your floaties so that you could swim on your own. You want to do what the other kids are doing and if they aren't swimming with floaties on, by God neither are you. Several times we fought over this. Mommy always won.

You throughly enjoyed chasing the seagulls this time and weren't at all weirded out by them following you around the beach after you had donated handful after handful of organic gingersnap bears to them. Only the best for the gulls at our beaches.

We visited the NC Aquarium while we were there and several times you touched a stingray as it swam around in the tank and when we visited the touch tank at the other end of the room, the "Touch Tank Teacher" came over and gave you and your brother a private lesson about horseshoe crabs and conch shells. You were very interested in the jelly fish tank but bored by most of the other fishes swimming benignly in their tanks. The sharks were fascinating, but even more exciting because in front of the tank was a large area in which to run and benches that you were able to climb on.

By the end of the beach trip, the day we were supposed to leave actually, you were laying under your bed, crying because I wouldn't bring your other flip flop in from the car. You had had enough. That might even be something that's quite reasonable if it was way past your bedtime, but it was 10 o'clock in the morning. We ended up leaving a few hours earlier than we thought we might.

On the trip home, you determined that you really liked David Gray and wanted to hear several of the songs on the album again and again. Just for future reference that album is called, Life in Slow Motion and the songs that you love are tracks, 6 From Here You Can Almost See The Sea, 7 Ain't No Love and 8 Hospital Food. It just so happens that those are the best songs on the album in fact. Quite honestly for the beginning of your life, I thought maybe you didn't get the music gene, but now realize that it was just a bit delayed.

Now that I've reburned a copy of Pearl Jam's 10, to listen to in the car (after wearing out 2 CDs since it's release in the 90's) you've developed a liking for it and I have to confess that when I ask if you want to listen to music in the car and you demand Pearl Jam I couldn't be prouder. I'm sorry I lost faith. I should have remembered that I was the same Mommy that took you to the Dr. when you were a year and a half old because I was concerned that you weren't speaking on schedule, only to hear you with a five year old vocabulary at three years old and I hope you never stop talking to me.
I love you,
Mommy

Watermelon

Carolina Anole

I love macro photography. It gives the viewer a chance to see things that the naked eye may not usually recognize. I'm not sure that this qualifies as macro photography and I wish that the focus was a little bit sharper, but this little guy lives on the front porch at the beach house.

Donkey Tail

Picture of the Day

Better Than Ducktape

Picture of the Day

Penis Envy

When I announced that I was going to go up to the beach, a five and half hour drive with the boys... leaving Jorma at home for his own mini vacation from us all, I questioned my own sanity. I mean, what woman in her right mind would drive that far- alone with an almost 4 and almost 2 year old. Was I mad?
I guess mad isn't the word, but more desperate. I was desperate to give the boys a little more of the Summer to run and swim and play before the start of pre-school. I was equally desperate to have a little peace of mind myself. The trips to the beach are never easy, in fact it's pretty much the same amount (if not more) work than it is when we are home, but the boys are busy the entire time which means they aren't fighting with each other... or me. I like that.
The trip up could have gone either way. It could have been a five and a half hour slice of hell, or it could have been just fine and guess what? It was just fine. The boys snacked the first hour, slept for the next two and watched a movie for the two after that. They were perfect. No fighting, no yelling and even no whining.
We only stopped once and it was about 20 minutes from the beach house. The only reason that we stopped then was because I desperately needed a cuppa coffee to push me through for the rest of the evening. We pulled through a coffeeNdonut shop where I got the largest iced coffee imaginable and then pulled over so that I could give the boys the sippy cups, toys and blankets that they had tossed on the floor during the drive. Once I got them situated and put another movie in, I buckled myself back into the car, threw it into reverse and heard Connor say, "Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom".
Now Connor likes to see a bathroom, any bathroom. If we are in a new store the first thing he wants to do is go to the bathroom. He's likes playing in the different soaps and trying to work the different faucets... and the paper towel dispensers that are motion activated, well, to him those are a 1.5 foot piece of Disney. My point is that often it's difficult to tell if he really NEEDS to go, or merely wants to go investigate the soap dispenser. And we are only 20 minutes away from our destination.
"Can you hold it", I ask. It's not that I mind taking him in, but taking him AND little brother in... but, since Tristan is getting a little to large to be held it's sometimes, challenging.
"No", he says, "I can't"
"Are you sure?", I ask hopefully.
"I'm just going to hop out and pee in the parking lot" he says matter of factly. (As if he can get out of his seatbelt by himself)
"ok", I say, "we'll go in". But as I'm turning off the car and dreading the extra 30 minutes that I've just added to the trip, I spy a juice bottle on the floorboard of the car. A light bulb goes off.
"Do you think you can pee in the juice bottle?", I ask him. He nods.
I unscrew the cap and reach around, unhooking his seat belt. In a flash his pants are down and he's peeing into the bottle, like he's a professional truck driver. It's a victory. No going inside of the coffee shop. No unbuckling little brother or fighting about why we can't have another donut on the way out of the coffee shop. I feel free.
Do you know what this means? It means that we've just simplified the road trip. We can travel! Cross country! To the Grand Canyon! Without having to stop every hour to pee!
How awesome is that? Cal-a-forn-ia here we come!

Ride 'em Cowboy

This is a little photo series that shows how well our children treat guests at our house... (and maybe displays just a little of how they feel about Larry too)

Dear Tristan - 23 Months

Dear Sugar Bear,
In one month you'll be two years old and while I'm starting to see the wish for independence that comes with that age, I'm not seeing as much of the attitude that most other children develop. We kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Some sort of indication of the hell that we would be suffering as we guide you through your second year of life. Not to say that you aren't an active child, but having true curtain climbers, we do active well in this house, it's the sheer defiance that I was dreading. Because everyone knows that I'd love to say, "Because I SAID SO!" an additional 50 times a day.



I'm planning another beach trip for us before the summer is out because I want you and your brother to have one last week of doing nothing but, eating, sleeping, running and swimming. Because you both nap well during the day and sleep well at night, it seems like when we are there, everyone is happy, healthy and relaxed. Now if we can just get over that fear of being in the water. I'm all about you having a healthy respect for the water, but worse than that is the sudden fear you developed of any shower at the beach house. I'm not sure if this is because the water irritates your skin or because you were traumatized once when you and your brother were showering together (at the beach house) and he tackled you, taking you both down. No one was hurt but it scared everyone, including me who had a firm grip on your arm the entire time.


In the Fall you'll begin preschool. I think it's going to be a fantastic experience for you to get to play with other children without your brother around. You have the same teacher that Connor had his first year of school and we couldn't be happier. She's everything a preschool teacher should be, complete with bluebirds and fairies, singing around her aura. I'm not nearly as apprehensive about you starting school as I was when your brother started. Just because, I know you are going to love it that much. As soon as you stop crying at the door for me to come back... but Mommy comes back, always.
I love you,
Mommy