Oh Craigslist Chair... The Final Saga

Before

After

Oh Craiglist Chair. How I thought you would be such a bargain before I spent almost $100.00 on fabric, batting, padding, stuff to refinish the legs, a new staple gun, cording, buttons and trim. Oh how I thought it would be so easy to recover you and but now know that it's something that I will never. ever. do again. But, my! Don't you look sweet in my bedroom? And now husband doesn't have to sit on the bed in the mornings to put his shoes on. I am so glad I am finished with you.

Happy Halloween

We didn’t get a lot of good pictures this year. There were some problems standing still and then there was some sort of funk on the camera lens for the few that we did get of the boys together… imagine that.

Tristan didn’t want to wear his Spiderman mask, but carried it around balled tightly in his fist all night. He wouldn’t let go of it because he knew it went with his costume and he didn’t want to lose it. Luckily, we missed the rain. Jorma took the boys out prepared for a downpour but before they left the neighbors house the rain stopped. We always say that Tristan runs between the rain drops.

The boys made out like bandits. We let them eat freely while they played in the cul-de-sac with the neighbors children and then brought them in and let them pick three pieces of candy to eat and then put the rest away. Tomorrow night the Halloween Witch will come to the house. The boys will choose 10 pieces of candy each and then they will leave the rest for her. She will leave them each a toy in exchange for the candy. They like the Halloween Witch. And so do the people at Jorma’s work.

Who Wants a Cupcake?

Last year the Pre-K class at Connor's school had a spider cake that was filled with green pudding so when you cut into it, it oozed. At some point I thought that I would make a pumpkin filled with orange pudding so that the class would have an ooze factor.


Then I lost my mind and thought that making individual cupcakes would be easier.

Luckily Lena was coming by to get her apples so I suckered her into helping me. She is much better at cupcake decoration than me.

But between the two of us, we got em done.

Dear Connor - 5 Years

Dear Connor,
It’s hard to believe that you are already five years old. To me, five marks the end of the little kid years and the herald of the big boy age. I’m lucky you still fit in my lap. Your attention span is (very) slowly but surely coming online. You are now asking to play games like Candyland and are able to sit down for short periods of time and do puzzles.

I feel like this might be an appropriate place to discuss your contraptions. You love a roll of string and tape. You like to piece things together with tape. It doesn’t matter if it’s fabric, string or old leaves. You like to build things that go high and span great distances. Last month, I walked into the kitchen to find that you had gotten a hold of some string and a roll of tape. You had the entire kitchen taped up and laced with a web that wouldn’t allow me to get to the sick. Unfortunately you are still easily frustrated and led to tantrums so when your brother went running through it like he was playing Red Rover, you went ballistic.

We’ve taken you out of your therapy for the time being, because it’s crazy expensive and because I feel like we can do some of the same things at home to help you. It means we’ll have to work a little bit harder at home, but it frees up some cash for you to do other things like take gymnastics and frees me up to do things on Thursday afternoons like write a blog entry. Last month, we went to the allergist, had a school field trip where you got to pick out a pumpkin and feed a goat, went apple picking in the mountains and actually got to play in the backyard sans mosquitoes, which are the NC state bird. On our trip to the allergist we found out that you are allergic to trees, grasses and weeds. Luckily (for Pippin) you aren’t allergic to cats. You had mild allergies to just about every food except beef and cantaloupe but the allergist said there wasn’t much to worry about.

While we are taking this break from your therapy we are going to embark on a major mission of discovery, elimination testing… your Dad and I are constantly trying to find methods that will help you focus and make you more comfortable in your own skin. Recently there have been several studies done on allergies and their trigger on behavior. We have decided that we are going to start eliminating items from your diet to see if there is a difference in your ability to sit still and focus. First we are going to try apples. Apples are easy enough to eliminate from your diet and after the experience that we had at the apple orchard, where you suddenly felt sick and couldn’t get away from there fast enough, we thought it was worth a try. This method is known as the Feingold diet. We’ll try anything short of shock therapy to help you, so why the hell not. I mean, who can’t live without apples for three weeks? From there we’ll eliminate all artificial flavors and preservatives which may be a slight annoyance to friends, family and the preschool but I just have to know. I mean, what if it’s some random preservative that’s causing you to lose control of yourself? If I waited until you were 12 to try it, I’d be so upset with myself for waiting so long. As your Great Grandfather said to me once, “It can’t hurt and it might help”. Nobody really needs to be eating that crap anyway, right?

This Halloween you are going to be Danny Phantom. Oh, how I cannot wait for the day that I can just go to a store and buy your costume. Every time you tell someone that you are going to be Danny Phantom for Halloween, they say, “Who?” which is why you ended up with a homemade costume again this year. Today you had your party at the preschool and we put you in your costume and even sprayed your hair with silver hair spray. You totally rocked the silver hair, Mister. You weren’t sure about it at first, but I have the feeling in the next twenty minutes an argument is going to occur regarding the shower.

Happy Birthday Danny Phantom. May you always use your ghost powers for good.
I love you,
Mama

A Project to Remember

Oh Craislist chair. What a bargain you were. How easy it might be to reupholster you? Sure, I've never done that before, but it's not rocket science right?

Oh Craigslist chair, you are stuffed with horse hair. Could I please get a collective and sympathetic *gag* from my loving readers? Oh the smell. Oh the nastiness. Why am I doing this again? Oh that's right, because it's such a bargain to find a great chair and then reupholster it yourself.

Might makes right. I bet this isn't how the professionals do it. I bet the professionals don't have a 3 and 5 year old jumping up and down behind them begging for a turn.

Oh Craigslist chair. I have stripped you bare. In only 4 hours. Now I just have to figure out how to put you back together... with new fabric, padding, batting and trim. Wait. How much is all of THAT crap going to cost?!

To be continued....

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

I kept meaning to try this, but I kept putting it off. Mostly because I wanted to take pictures so if it was amazing I could share it with you.

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.


See the cake. See the cake rising over the top of the mug. Am I alarmed? Hell no. You should have seen what the microwave looked like BEFORE I put the mug into it. Here's to hoping a little bit more funk inspires me to clean it.



Here is the cake after cooling. Looks promising. My children start to smell chocolate and are suddenly standing so close to me I wonder if they are taking bets on who can get back into my uterus first.

I threaten children with no cake if they don't get off of me. Cake tipped out onto plate. Looks kind of kooky, right? I'm not afraid of kooky - if it has chocolate in it.
Drum roll please....

Final verdict. A little bit weak. Sure, it cooks in the microwave in five minutes, but it didn't have enough of a chocolate taste. Granted I didn't add the chocolate chips to it, but still. And I could taste the eggs. Quite frankly the only thing I should taste eggs in... is eggs. And it had too much flour. And really in retrospect, once you get all of that crap out of the pantry, measure and mix, it's not that hard to wait 45 minutes for an actual cake to cook, right? I mean, it's not the waiting on the baking that I dread, its the mixing before and the clean up after.
It did have a cake like consistency although it seemed to not cook evenly. It was very dense.
I would give this recipe 3 stars. And one of those stars is because it's a five minute jobbie. But I'll take one for the team here and keep working with it, until I can find something that rocks the house.

Good, bad or inbetween I'll tell you one thing though. My kids ate the crap outta that cake.

Dear Tristan - 3 Years, 1 Month

Dear Tristan,

For your birthday last month we bought you a big boy bed. We didn't buy the rails when we bought the crib, so we had to special order them. Briefly when Mommy wrote the check for $178.00 we considered maybe just letting you sleep in your chair for the rest of your life. Oh you may read this later and think that's mean, but really, that's doing you a favor. You'd love nothing more. We hooked up your new bed with t-shirt sheets, new pillows and a comfy foam mattress topper so your 35 lbs didn't get kinked up when you were sleeping on it. We talked it up. We sang songs about it. The picture below demonstrates just how much you love it.

You are still crazy about your big brother, but he's not so nice to you. I think that might come with the little brother territory, but it does break my heart to hear you run after him so excited to see him only to be pushed away or have whatever toy you are holding taken away from you. You are very forgiving though. I guess you know what your Dad and I do... that under it all, your brother loves you dearly. You are his best friend.

You are finall getting used to the preschool routine. You have a clear preference for one of your teachers, but sometimes you like to have a little tantrum when I'm leaving just for show. I think you get over it pretty quickly and even enjoy yourself just a little bit because you're always smiling when I come to pick you up. You even jump on Connor full of hugs and love since you haven't seen him since the lunch room 45 minutes before.

You've grown an inch since June! That's a lot for a little guy! You can throw the crap out of a ball too. And catch! You actually like playing ball. Who knew? Now if you could just stop throwing them in the house? Thanks. I really liked that picture frame.

I love you,
Mommy

Dear Connor - 4 Years, 11 Months

Dear Connor,
Mostly your Dad puts you to bed each night and I put your brother down. Sometimes though, your Dad goes to the gym or something else is going on and I put you both down or your Dad and I will switch the duties and I’ll put you to bed. On the nights that I put you down for bed you always ask for a lullaby that you’ve never heard before. So, I pull something out of the recesses of my brain to sing to you. Sometimes I get part of the way through the song and realize that the words need to change very quickly because when I’m singing Jeremy by Pearl Jam, I don’t want to sing the, “bit the recess ladys breast” lyric and quickly change it to, “gave the recess lady a kiss”. You’ve heard some Led Zepplin, Fleetwood Mac, Jefferson Airplane and Black Eyed Peas. You like the Tori Amos, Happy Phantom song and remember the ones that I’ve sang to you before. You like the Janis Joplin, Mercedes Benz song but you say it’s too loud.

You are all about your new preschool. It's hard for you to keep it together the entire day but by God you are doing it. I'm so proud of you. I know how hard it is for you to sit still. Each day you bring home your folder and I check your behavior status and there's a smiley face which means you were good all day. It makes me so happy.
You've been making up songs with words that rhyme and you're pretty damn good at it. You love making potions (mud pies), Danny Phantom and your new babysitter. You are driving me completely insane with your, "What if" game that begins with you asking me strange what if questions until I feel like I need to go and lock myself in a broom closet to get away from it all. This morning it was "What if Tristan ate a snake?" At first I tried to prove the futility of your question by answering, "How would Tristan catch a snake?", you weren't having any of my crap though, you simply respond with, "What if he did catch one?" It's Who's on first for the first thirty minutes of each day. I've considered moving the coffee pot to the upstairs bedroom.

This morning we had a "Test-Mommy-Who's-on-First" when I went to open up the fridge and there was something wet and slimy under the handle. It rubbed off on my hand.
I said, "What in the hell is THAT?" I thought I was talking to myself, but then realized that I wasn't when you responded, " I don't know, Mama, What the hell IS that?"
This is how the rest of the conversation went.

"Don't say that word."
"What word? Hell? Why can't I say Hell?"

"Because you're four"
"And four year olds can't say Hell?"
"No. Stop it."

"Why can't four year olds say Hell Mama?"
"Connor..." (in a warning tone)

"I was just wondering why four years olds can't say Hell. Is it not appropriate?"
I won't bore my readers with the rest of the conversation, because it basically ended up with me getting testy and him understanding that the envelope had been pushed far enough.

Or at least until Mommy had another cup of coffee.
I love you,
Mama