Moon Sand

Over the weekend, Jorma’s Mom came into town. We had a lovely, relaxing time, a couple of shopping trips included. One of those trips, to one of those super-cheap-super-mart’s places, (nods to the corporate lawyers), landed us in the toy section. My Mother in Law wanted to buy a gift for the kids and the selection at the mega mart, well... it sucks. I guess they need to have more room for car tires and plastic storage bins. At any rate, rushed to make a decision, we decided on Moon Sand. I mean, the kids love play-doh, surely moon sand would be a hit.

So yesterday I broke out the Moon Sand and all I can say is, I can not believe this crap is still on the market. My children are not ready for moon sand. I’m not sure anyone’s children are ready for moon sand. I spent at least 20 minutes, trying to get it out of the grout lines in our floor, the crevices in our table and in between the rungs of the chairs at the table. Not just the chairs they were sitting in either. All of the chairs at the table.

If you would like to know if Moon Sand belongs in your house or not, here’s a quick test you can do, before you make your purchase.

Fill three buckets with the finest textured sand you can find.
Dampen the sand so it’s sticky.
Let the kids play with it at the kitchen table.

Turn your back to cook dinner.

You will know five minutes in, if moon sand is for you. If you do not have children and would like to see if the Moon Sand is appropriate for your friends’ kids, you can perform the above experiment with a couple of monkeys that have been given tequila.

How to Amaze Your Children

When I was growing up, every time it snowed we would make snow cream. Still as an adult, even before I had kids, I would make it just for old times sake.

How to make it.
Fill a large mixing bowl with the cleanest snow you can find. I usually wait until it's snowed a couple of inches, because I feel like the first two inches of snow cleaned all of the crap out of the air. I realize this is probably not accurate, but please don't spoil it for me.

Add enough milk to give it a slushy consistency

Add enough vanilla to taste and enough sugar to make it yummy.

Stir. Serve immediately.

Dear Connor & Tristan - 4 yrs, 3 mo & 2 yrs, 4 mos

Dear Connor and Tristan,
If I asked you both what you think the highlights of this month were, you would have one word. Snow. Finally enough snow for a couple good runs on the sled and dry enough to make snowballs without soaking your gloves. And that's what we did. You both had your first sled rides, your first snow cream and for Connor, possibly the first snow you will remember.

I wish it would have stayed for weeks.
I love you both,
Mommy

Hoping

Today we got Connor’s lottery number and pin for the Montessori school lottery. I’m hoping that he gets in, because I really think it will be the best learning environment for him and we can’t afford a private school. I’m sure that there are another 10,000 parents out there that are hoping for the same thing. So, keep your fingers crossed, say a prayer or throw some rose petals up the air for me, we need some luck on our side.

Help me

I’m planning a Silent Auction. Me and an army of women from the Moms Club that I’m a member of. You see, one of our members is struggling with Breast Cancer and we want to help her. While pats on the back and hugs are always welcome, we know what really helps. Money. So we’re going to give her some. We are collecting donations from friends, any local businesses that are feeling generous, members of the club and members of the church that our member and her mother both go to. It’s going to be a gala event. It’s going to be a lot of work.

And I need you.

Now you know that I would do anything for you. Anything that doesn’t involve interrupting naptime, which is something that I hold dear. Knowing that I would do anything for you, you can count on this. I’m hoping you’ll do something for me. I’m coming. I’m coming to ask you for stuff. If you knit, I’m coming to ask you to make a scarf to auction. If you bake, I’m going to sweet talk you into making those special brownies for us to auction. (Not THOSE special brownies.) If you work for a company that could provide something that we could auction off to make money for this family, prepare to ask for it. Or prepare to tell me no.

I believe strongly in the cause, because I can’t imagine how it must feel to know that you may not get to watch your children graduate from college. I can’t imagine and it hurts me to think about it. So much that when I went into a local store, The Purple Pea to ask for a donation yesterday, I completely involuntarily started tearing up while I was asking. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t intend it. I apologized profusely and told the owner that I was going to have to get better at this. She replied, “No, I think this is working for you”, and she agreed to donate something to us. Now this is a NICE store with some of the most beautiful Raku pieces I’ve ever seen. And if I had an extra 300.00. I’d have one sitting on my entertainment center. So, if I can go in and ask a total stranger, certainly I can ask you. And certainly you’ll help me, right? Help me help someone else. Because that’s what it’s all about.

Strange Old Man and Friends

It is 11am and we are standing in line at Walgreen’s. An elderly, (90 years old in March, officially) gentleman comes over and asks how to get to the battery store. I explain it to him and just as he turns around to leave, he turns back around and looks at Tristan. Tristan hides behind my leg.

"I LOOOOOVVVEEE babies", the man says. He reaches for Tristan. In 1/10 of a second, I surmise the situation. I’m taller, stronger and younger and if he trys to snatch a child, he’s not getting out alive. So, I allow the social experiment to continue.

He asks Tristan if he wants to give him a hug to which Tristan responds, “no”. He reaches over and starts to pick Tristan up. Now Tristan weighs almost 30lbs and he’s no easy breeze in the lifting department, especially when Mommy has an arm around his waist and he’s trying to get from Strange Old Man to me. He’s fighting and crying. At this point, I’m afraid to jerk Tristan away because Strange Old Guy is kind of rickety and I’m not looking for any lawsuits today, but it’s taking him an awfully long time to try to lift him. So I gently pull Tristan away and move him quickly to my hip. A vantage point which allows Tristan to hide as Strange Old Guy coos and tries to tickle him. Strange Old Guy locks onto his next target. Connor.

Strange Old Guy says, “Come here and give me some lovin’” and reaches his arms out for Connor. I’ve about had enough of this by now, especially since we have an audience of store clerks and the other people standing in line. Connor gives me that, “Do I have to, look?” To which I responded, “Maybe it would just be better if we shook hands and introduced ourselves”. Connor is ok with this and he reaches out to Strange Old Man, proud to get to practice his new skill. Strange Old Man, gently takes Connor’s hand and slowly draws it over to his mouth to kiss it. Now it wasn’t a flirtatious sort of kiss. It was more of a kiss from a sweet old man that doesn’t understand that Connor is horrified and that Mommy is about to take this man out.

Connor yanks his hand back and the old man starts telling me about how much he loves kids and that if he ever saw anyone hurting them, he would take the kids. “Even if it was you”, he said. I replied, “You try to take one of my kids and you’re not getting out that door”. I wink. He tells me I have beautiful eyes, says good bye to the boys and leaves.

I’m standing in line again, but someone has gone ahead of me, as the Strange Old Man situation occurred. The man that’s gone ahead of me, is a very large, Southern Gentleman, I see him suddenly freeze and start looking around. I start looking around and then look down as he does. Connor is inspecting something on the bottom of his foot and has grabbed the back of Southern Gentleman’s pants and is holding on for dear life, while he checks his shoe. This is causing Southern Gentleman’s pants to come down just a little bit as Connor has the pants right below the guys butt towards the inner thigh. No wonder the guy is freaking. He’s just trying to buy some aspirins and suddenly there’s a 4 year old fondling him. I gasp to which Connor looks up and realizes that he’s doing something bad and standing up, thinking that he’s in trouble for inspecting his shoe. Southern Gentleman laughs it off as I apologize profusely. At least he thinks it’s funny.

Happy Day

Noggin wasn’t cancelled. [Insert huge sigh of relief here]. Apparently TW Cable renewed or negotiated their way through it. That probably means a rate increase for the rest of us, but I’ll take it if it means I can cook dinner without interruption. And watching Tristan jump off the sofa yelling, Bugs Away! today, made me even happier that I don’t have to subject my kids to Tom and Jerry, now. I mean really, do you think I need these kids chasing each other around the house with frying pans?

mmm Bacon 'n Greens

I have chosen my first good deed of the New Year to save you from something that you may or may not have already subjected yourself to. Collard greens. In the South, traditionally on New Year’s Day there is a meal which involves black eyed peas, ham, cornbread and collard greens. I’m down with everything else… but the collard greens I’ve never learned to like.

That is until Jorma spent some time Googling recipes and found a delicious way to serve them. Here’s how the magic happens.

First you dice several strips of raw bacon into small pieces. Then, throw it into a large skillet and cook. Right as your bacon starts to brown throw in a couple of cloves of finely chopped fresh garlic. Continue cooking your bacon and you should end up with golden brown garlic and bacon that’s perfectly crispy. Add several handfuls of collard greens that have been washed and chopped into small ribbons, about ½ an inch in width. Toss the greens in your garlic bacon grease. Salt. Pepper. Cook until tender, but not mushy, probably 3-5 minutes. Serve hot. OMG, these are good. And it proves Jorma’s theory that there’s no food that’s not edible by putting bacon in, on top or around it.

New Year's Resolutions

This year I am going to try like hell to:

• Put on makeup everyday - Does chapstick count as makeup?
• Try out some cardio. I love yoga, but I'm not losing any weight... just firming up
• Embrace joy. I'll have to do a separate blog entry on this one.
• Spend more time doing things that are creative. More art.
• Set up a budget for the family and use it... for a whole year

I think that's probably enough to start with.
Happy New Year Internet!

2008 - A Year in Review

This year was so much better than last year, really I should title this post, Jorma has a great job… so that’s the first on my list. This year:

• Jorma got a great job!
• I reestablished a whole bunch of lost connections through Facebook
• Tristan started preschool
• We got a kitty
• I stopped smoking then started again, then stopped again
• I learned to love yoga and did it for six months like it was a religion
• We finally got rid of that large area of mulch in the yard and planted grass
• We had a tree come down and crush the boys swing set
• The kids got a new swing set
• We spent lots of time at the beach, yay Papaw!
• I read almost 30 books and countless copies of Oprah and Men’s Health
• I had the stomach flu twice
• Tristan started speaking clearly and correctly
• Connor had a superduperfun birthday party at Space Kidets
• My term as VP in the MOMS Club was finished
• I went on a soup kick when I started making fresh stocks and cooking soups regularly
• We got a new sofa!
• For Jorma, this was the year of the iPod
• We got to visit with Grammie Kathi
• The boys rode their first pony
• Yay Obama!
• Connor learned to swim