They made Dora cry! Those BASTARDS!

My Mom sent this over after scanning it from a full page ad that was in the paper. I just had to post it. I don't care who's fault it is, making Dora cry is just mean.

Tristan has a little love thang going on with her and if he sees this, he's going to be kicking some ass. And if he can't handle it... don't make Connor get involved.

Noggin?! Cancelled?!

Oh terrible day. This morning, I turned on the tube for a little bit of Mommy has to drink a cup of coffee before talking about whether or not cows eat mice and there was a black crawl running across the bottom of the screen. It announced that Time Warner Cable was pulling several channels, including, but not limited to, MTV, VH1, Nickelodeon, and worst of all, Noggin.
Now, I’ve since passed the age where I even care that MTV and VH1 are being taken away. I lived the good days with those channels back when they actually played music and since then I’ve discovered the digital music channels and don’t have the need for a channel that’s sold out to reality television. If I want to watch a video, I’ll do it on the internet by god. But the thought of losing Noggin, sends a chill of fear down my spine.
For those of you that don’t have children, let me explain. Noggin is a commercial free cartoon network that only shows programs that are not violent and are good for preschool development. I’m not saying it takes the place of parents, (although some days… ) but if you have to put your child in front of the TV, this is the channel that you want. Coming from someone that’s had the stomach flu twice in one year, there are days when you are thankful for your family’s love, health and Noggin.
I have a 4 year old. And a 2 year old. And I am not happy with this. Not at all. There is a number on the bottom of the screen that you can call, but *surprise!* when you call, they are experiencing technical difficulty and are unable to take the call.
Really? You don’t want to talk to me right now? Me who has three of your services and spends enough to buy a second car? You don’t want to hear what I have to say? Hmmm. How about chatting with live help online? They are having technical problems too. Interesting… I think I might actually be starting to get this. So I sent an email to let them know, that the thought of having to explain to a 2 year old, where Go, Diego, Go has gone is not appealing to me at all. Not one little bit.
Your mission is clear. You must help me save Noggin… if you won’t do it for the children, do it for Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart is how we get our news the thought of being subjected the sensationalized channels of broadcast media, makes me feel like I’ve just eaten a bad shrimp. Please save me from bad shrimp and days where I don’t get to have a thought for myself.
Time Warner is a monopoly and doesn’t really seem to care much about whether or not they offer competent service at all. I could list 10 different examples, but I’m trying to stay on topic. I’d be willing to pay extra for Noggin if I had to, because it means that while I’m cooking dinner each night, or drinking a cup of coffee in the morning that I get just a little bit of peace it’s worth it to me. Maybe Time Warner doesn’t care whether or not I’m happy with their service, but one thing they should know is… I hold a grudge and I’m not afraid to give my money to someone else each month.

Books of 2008

The out of sync child - Could have created a turning point in my life
The other Bolyn Girl - Great read! Couldn't put it down.
The Constant Princess - Read this before The Other Bolyen Girl
The Time Traveler's Wife - Best book of the year
Brisinger - Half ass writing
The Road - This still haunts me
A New Earth - Not understanding what all of the hype was about
Wildfire - Old school cowboy western
101 Things Every Kid Should Do - cute
The Last Child in the Woods - Decent
Healing the New Childhood Disorders - Fascinating. Maybe there is hope
Holidays on Ice - A little darker than I thought it would be
One Thousand Splendid Suns - No other book has made me so appreciate my husband
Kite Runner - Tragic. It was hard to forgive the main character for something that happened in the beginning of the book
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - Amazing
Water for Elephants - Loved it
Are you there God, it's Me Margaret - For sentimental reasons
East of Eden - Was dreading reading it, but it was really great
Eat, Pray, Love - Good, but not worth all the hype
The Bridge - A story about an old mill worker. Never liked a single character in the book. Even the dog was annoying
Atonement - Disappointing ending
The Five People You Meet in Heaven - The Celestine Prophecy without any metaphysics. B rate psychobabble
All We Need of Hell - A raw, dysfunctional love story
The Last Lecture - inspiring
Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell - Took me forever to read it, because there was the promise that the book would improve... it never did.
Home Cheap Home - Some good ideas
Sink Reflections - I cleaned for a solid week
Eldest - Better than the third book

The New Addition

For my birthday this year, Dad and Ellen bestowed upon me a fantastic gift. A kitty from a local rescue shelter. The shelter established by local vets in the area is called Kitty City. They only deal in felines and they have a whole slew of both kittens and full grown cats to choose from. We went in with Connor, leaving Tristan with Papaw and Nana and held several different kittens and full grown cats. There was one cat though, that was out of his cage the entire time and completely unphased by the commotion and noise. In the end, we decided that was probably the cat for us. I didn't interact much with the cat that we adopted at the store, apart from observation, but any cat that can lay in the middle of the floor while people come in and out and our 4 year old runs around trying to let all of the kitties out of their cages, is probably our best bet. So we brought him home with us. We named him Pippin, after rejecting a slew of other names from the Tolkien Trilogy, including Gandolf the Gray which would have been appropriate, but better for a cat that isn't a total spaz. Pippin seems to fit him well and the kids are both able to say his name. He should just be glad that we didn't let Connor name him, or he'd be stuck with "Kitty".
The kids love him and so do we. He's sweet, playful and completely unphased when he's picked up by Connor 457 times a day. I know you think I'm exaggerating here and I might be, because I haven't actually counted, but it's damn close. He's a good kitty this one.

Dear Connor & Tristan - 4 yrs, 2 mo & 2 yrs, 3 mos

Dear Connor and Tristan,
As Christmas time approaches fast and furious, we prepare for the chimney descent of The Man in the Red Suit. I'm not sure that either of you quite understand the Santa ritual, although there are lots of questions from Connor about how Santa is going to get past the dragon in our fireplace, (I had to tell them SOMETHING to keep them from opening the fireplace doors) and how will he know he's not a bad pirate and not beat him up.
I explain about The Sleigh Bell Early Detection System and that there's not really a dragon in the fireplace. I explain about Santa leaving gifts for you both, but I'm not sure Connor's buying it. You've sat in Santa's lap already and received a letter in the mail from Sir Jolly himself, but I think the concept is just too abstract.


This Christmas is SO much better than last Christmas. Last Christmas there was no income and after a year of stress, it all became quite existential to me. I went through the motions more of an observer than a participant. I'm not sure either of you noticed at all, but in retrospect, how could you not have felt at least the slightest residue of panic or a wisp of despair. Maybe you weren't able to put it into words, but certainly you noticed the elephant that wasn't just hanging out in, but had taken up residence in every place meant for Christmas cheer.


You're Dad and I are hoping that this year will be far more magical for you both.
You both have done extremely well with the Christmas tree in the living room, not breaking any ornaments or unwrapping any presents underneath. Tristan, you just came over to me, baffled because you had somehow managed to get the hook from a glass ornament stuck between your bottom two teeth and couldn't get the ornament back out. I removed it with no injury and am hoping that you'll only do that once.



Connor, you've been allowed to plug the tree in, something that breaks our very strict rule of no children touching plugs and the the first time you did it, it was probably more exciting to you than seeing an elf.



The two of you love to play any game that invovles pretend monsters, you both love art, especially painting and computer games. I think as soon as little brother has the dexterity to operate a mouse, he'll be a computer prodigy all from watching big brother play on the computer. We try to teach the proper names for the elements that you both see on screen. For example, you both know what a link is and that the top bar of the page is called a title bar.



The two of you seem to be playing more and fighting less. There is so much fighting that it's hard to believe that there could have ever been more. But finally we've increased the threshhold of threats so that it's not worth losing dessert over. Plus, now that Tristan's speech is coming online a little bit clearer, communication with Connor is easier so it's easier for you both to make up games to play together. Now the only problem is that you both gang up on Mommy and Daddy or combine your efforts at sneakiness. That's ok though, we need the practice for when you both are teenagers.
I love you,
Mommy

300 Flushes - The Sequel

Maybe you remember that we just had the stomach flu a month or so ago. I would like everyone and especially the universe to know that when I said I only needed to have it 8 more times to reach my goal weight that I was kidding. Because now we have it again.
Tristan threw up on the way up to Dad's the other night, all over himself and the car seat. He threw up again on the way home. We weren't certain then that it was a stomach bug. We thought that maybe he just kept putting his fingers too far down his throat... but at 5am this morning, I was certain that it was a stomach bug. And that I had it too.
And now Jorma has it. At least he's a couple of hours behind me, so we are able to stagger our child care.
I would like to give a big round of applause to the husband though, as he and my Dad put up most of the swing set that the boys are getting for Christmas, while Jorma was feeling like he was going to puke the whole time.
And then to my neighbor who brought me sports drink in my time of extreme need. And my stepmom who came by once the kids were up from nap and took over diaper changes and snacks. And then made a run for Sportsdrink. And I'd like to thank the academy, or rather the preschool, for without them, none of this would have been possible. Art's not the only thing they are bringing home from school y'all.

Tis the Season

When I was single, back-in-the-day, after getting off of work, Darlene and I would go to the local (and shiny brand new) Wal-Mart, armed with styrofoam cups filled with gin, tonic and extra lime. We'd get some shopping done, randomly wander around the store and around 2am we'd go home. The down side was that drinking and shopping at Wal-Mart ends up with some interesting items the next day. Like the time that I bought two bikinis for myself, simply because they were 80% off. That might have been a really good deal, if I had any businesss wearing one.
I knew this morning when Jorma left for Target that he wasn't going to be happy when he came home. I think he was hoping that it wasn't going to be wall to wall with people, which it was, but he also reported that people were standing, staring and not moving as if they were making a life changing decision in whether to purchase the green or the blue sweater for their mother in law. When he came home, his hair was just a little bit taller on his head but he wasn't as frazzled as I thought he would be.
I sympathized with him, but then was compelled to call him from my cell when I went shopping for a belt and found that I couldn't bear to wait in line for an hour and a half just to keep my jeans from sliding down my bottom. Wait in line for an hour... or plumbers crack... wait in line for an hour... or... well, I'll try not to bend down in front of you.
Mostly I do my shopping during the day when the kids are in school and I had forgotten what it was like to go out into the general population at noon on a Saturday during the holiday season. It was madnesss. I was thankful that I didn't have my kids with me, as I saw several women struggling with theirs and other moms using their strollers and leverage to break through the crowds. Tis the season.