Monster Spray

I just created this label to put on the clear bottle that I bought at Target today. While I realize that Connor can't read, he definately notices labels and can spot an M&M logo from 750 feet away. So, I thought if I was going to pull off the monster spray I'd better not half ass it.
This idea was donated by our pediatrician, who Connor informed immediately upon seeing, that there were monsters in his room. She said, that monsters are very common between ages 3 and 5 and loudly suggested that we pick up some monster spray. She went on and on about how great it was at getting rid of monsters and Connor has not forgotten it.
Tonight when we roadtripped over to Target to attempt to find a swimsuit for me, (that's a completely different post all together), he kept reminding me that we needed Monster Spray. He didn't see me get the bottle, which helps with the covincing. Now I'm going to afix the label onto said bottle with clear packing tape and fill the bottle with tap water, (only because we are completely out of holy water) a few dropps of myrhh and maybe a little sea salt, you know just for good measure. If you have a child that is afraid of monsters, feel free to download the label for your own use. And let me know how it goes for you.

Reason #477, Not to Grow Up

“I don’t want to be a grown up. I want to stay a little boy so I don’t have to wear a tie every day.”

My Fantasy Answering Machine Message

You’ve reach (phone-number). If you are calling for technical support and have not spoken to either of us in the past 8 weeks regarding a non technical issue, please hang up and call someone else. All others please leave a message. Callers offering to watch our children will have their calls promptly returned.

Wii are the Champions

Finally after many days of searching, calling and bugging the crap out of various store clerks Jorma scored a Wii, (pronounced We). He’s in the den now, trying to practice using it, an endeavor that will probably take many years of staying up until 3am on Friday nights, but it looks like it’s going to be great fun. I generally don’t play video games for no other reason than my experience with Quake I, II and then III several years ago, which left me completely addicted and staying up until all hours of the morning while I worked my way through a maze of zombies with a shotgun. Don’t fool yourselves, when it comes to Quake, my skills can only be described as Bad-Ass.
At least working in the IT industry when you show up red eyed with a Big Gulp of iced coffee in hand, everyone understands when you say you’ve been up all night playing Quake. It’s easy enough to pull off an 8 hour work day, explaining to executives with six figure salaries, why they must not ever disable their virus software, when you’ve only had 4 hours of sleep. But that was then.
Since then I haven’t done much gaming. Before we had kids it was because I was busy sleeping at night to prepare for my 50+ hour work week and now that we have kids, it’s difficult to function on 4 hours of sleep.
Our children smell sleep depravation like a shark smells fear and they won’t hesitate to use it to try to drive us mad until they have their fill of cookies, or skittles, something, ANYTHING to make the whining stop. Ah, but I digress.
The Wii looks like it might actually be some fun. One, it requires movement, which I’m into since I quit smoking. At work, there is talk that our HR rep lost 15 lbs just by playing the Wii. Amazing. I’ll have to keep you all posted on whether or not I’m loving it, but prepare yourselves for the Wii jokes that will be invading the blog. Why just yesterday evening, Connor explained to Jorma, “Daddy, you are only allowed to play with your Wii. You and Mommy can play with your Wii but only after Tristan and I go to bed. Ok Daddy? Ok?” Later in the evening, he was following Jorma around yelling, “Daddy, you said you were going to share your WEED with me! Daddy, aren’t you going to share your WEED?!!!!” Look out Child Protective services, here we come.

Dear Connor(3 yrs, 8 mos) & Tristan (21 mo)

Dear Connor and Tristan,

The summer months have gotten busy, so in the spirit of multi-tasking, this month, I’ll be writing a letter to you both. I haven’t gotten our camera fixed and I’m disappointed with the other digital camera enough that I don’t bother taking pictures with it at all. Thus, I won’t have any pictures to post this month, unless I call all of the people that have taken pictures of you and request that they email me those pictures. This may seem like a simple feat, but it’s not, since I would spend anywhere from 3 – 30 minutes explaining how to zip or attach a multiple file to send to me and then spend the next 15 minutes explaining that a bmp is not a desirable file format. All of this occurs of course after I’ve spent 15 minutes fixing their internet connectivity problem.
By the time you are both reading this you will be older and Connor, I give you permission to smack your brother on the back of the head for banging our digital camera into the floor. Then the next time that you both see me, Tristan you may smack me in the back of the head for putting it four and half feet off of the ground, which is apparently accessible to one that is two feet tall if that one is ambitious enough to drag over a chair, climb up onto the desk and grab the camera from the computer monitor.
I’ll give you both this, you are ambitious. And you sure love each other. Tristan, the first thing you say in the morning is “Connor?” You repeat it every 3 minutes until he’s awake. And no, this doesn’t get on my nerves at all after an hour or so. Connor, you show your love to your brother by tackling him first thing, something that makes me a little uneasy, except for Tristan’s squeals of delight.
Connor, you translate for your little brother too. He calls his blanket his “gankie” and you always explain to me that he’s saying blanket… in Spanish. In fact, this week just about anything that your brother has said that’s intelligible you’ve explained that he is speaking in Spanish. Lucky for you this reminded me that I needed to put my learn Spanish in your car CDs into my car so that I could go ahead and start learning Spanish. This is so I can either teach it to the both of you, or learn enough that I can swear at you, venting my frustrations in another language, saving you both from years of therapy. I hope you use the money that you’ve saved to put your Dad and I in the finest nursing home available.
It’s been a busy summer so far. I was hoping on multiple beach trips this year but it hasn’t happened so far. We are working out what we can, but I’m religious about my yoga class which is one of the reasons that we are so busy. Twice a week you go to the child watch, while I get my exercise on in the morning. I’m also working one day a week which leaves us with two days to run errands during the week. One of those is grocery day. The other is OMG where did my week go, I have six loads of laundry to do day, which is also known to the two of you as, Hang Out in the Shower for a Bit and Then Run Around the Upstairs Naked for a While, Day. You wouldn’t think that this is an exciting time for the two of you, but you are both quite fond of it. Once you are finally dressed, (Connor sometimes with three shirts on) you play in Tristan’s closet for a while, closing the door and making a club house, giggling in the dark with your flashlights or finding new and exciting things to climb on together.
Tristan, sometimes you run around with a pair of Connor’s underwear on your head. You think this is hysterical, which amuses me because it actually IS. You’ve seen your brother do it a number of times when a hat wasn’t available to play dress up with and you are happy to follow his example. There is nothing that makes me happier than watching the two of you playing together smiling and giggling and occasionally stopping to hug and kiss each other.
There may be times in both of your lives where you feel like no one loves you. Of course, Mommy and Daddy always love you both more than you would ever know, but never forget how much you love each other. You may fight, you may walk separate paths in life but the kind of love that I see you have for each other, never goes away. No matter, who took who’s, Hot Wheels Car.
I love you both.
Mama

 

Ohm Diggity

Tonight I will attend my 6^th Yoga class and I would like to point out, that I’m still alive. Admittedly, I thought that it would be easier by now, but since then have determined that it’s never easy because you are always trying to reach farther and balance longer and because the extent of my exercise for the past few years has been walks around the block pushing a stroller. That definitely does a body good, but it’s no competition for the core strength that’s needed for some of the Yoga poses.
Some of the poses are getting a little bit easier for me and I like the way it’s making my body feel. I like that when I’m hit in the back of the knees with 30 lbs of running Tristan that I don’t feel like I’m about to go down. Or when my heel lands on a matchbox car at the bottom of the stairs, I don’t strain any muscles trying to right myself. And. For the first time, since high school I can do (modified) push ups. I could probably manage one or two regular push ups, in proper form, but I’m sticking with the modified for now.
I’m still doing Zumba once a week and due to the additional sweating my skin is clearing up. I keep checking the scales because with this much work, something’s got to be happening and it is… I’m gaining weight. I just keep repeating my mantra… muscle weighs more than fat, muscle weighs more than fat.
I’ll be thrilled to get rid of my “lunch lady” arms and would be even more thrilled if the pain that’s resided in my neck for many years goes away. The best thing about it all is that the church where I attend the classes offers child care for a moderate fee. And as you can imagine, I’ll endure any amount of pain just to get a little child free time.