Mom Doesn't Get Sick Days

It’s the fifth day of Jorma’s new job and I’ve intended to write even before this, but then… the stomach flu came to town. On Friday I was reviewing my shopping list online and Connor came into the office. “I’m burning up”, he said. I put my head on his forehead which felt fine. I assured him that he wasn’t burning up, which is what we call fevers around here, since if Connor gets one, you can be guaranteed that it’s at least 103.something. “I AM BURNING UP!”, Mommy he said, emphatically, jumping up and down. I put my lips on his forehead and was about to remark that he was just fine when he started dry heaving. I grabbed the trash can, (the mesh trash can) next to me, just in time for him to throw up into it ¹.
You might remember how awful it is to vomit, and shudder, but our kids... it doesn’t even phase them. After throwing up, Connor looked up and me and yelled to be sure I heard him, “DID I JUST THROW UP, MOMMY?!” I told him yes to which he responded, “oh.” and then launched into an entire series of questions pertaining to vomit, how and why it works and whether or not we should reach into the trash can to touch it.

About 20 minutes later he was back to harassing his brother and asking if he could have “crackers with cheese on top and maybe a little bit of juice”. Later that night there was just a mild fever, not much appetite but other than that, it seemed everything was groovy. The kids were fine.
Then at 11am on Sunday I started feeling sick. And it was on. It takes a lot for a virus to take me down completely, but I have to say. It was horrible. Nothing traumatizes me like the stomach flu. Nothing makes me feel as useless or weak, “Honey, can you hand me the remote? Yes, I know it’s only three feet away, I just. can’t. move.” Honest to God, I spent 15 minutes laying in bed, pondering whether or not it was worth getting up to get the remote control, only to be relieved when Jorma offered it to me from 4 feet away.
Monday should have been better, but I still felt horrible and Jorma had to work². His day started with him smelling vomit up the hallway and going into Tristan's room (at 6:30am) to discover that when he was yelling at 5:30am in the morning, it wasn't his daily, "HEY, I'M UP! COME AND GET ME!" (to which we ignore and he goes back to sleep until 7:30 each day) it was in fact, that he had contracted the stomach flu, vomited in his crib, cried for a few minutes and then gone back to sleep. But apart from not eating, Tristan was in high spirits all day too.
Today I haven’t been in bed since this morning and I couldn’t get both of the kids to nap at the same time like yesterday, when the Gods smiled down upon me and both children slept, from 1:15 until 4:15. I took a three hour nap. I still feel like hell, but not like I'm dying any more so I'll take it.
If you want to offer a service that no one else has thought of yet, here’s my freebie idea for you, be the one that comes over to maintain children and house when stay at home Mom (or Dad) gets the flu. I don’t know where you could start your going rate, but I’ll tell you that as broke as we are, I probably would have paid around $75.00 an hour to anyone that would have let me sleep for an entire day on Monday. Although the check may have bounced.

¹ I’m quite certain Martha Stewart has never though to mention to anyone, “If you live in a house with small children who go to preschool and may become sick often, it is often wise to only put trashcans that can hold liquid matter into any room that a child could possibly throw up in. It saves the carpet”

² Jorma nursed me for most of the day on Sunday but on Monday Jorma was only one day 4 of his new job and after all of the hell we’ve been through over the past year, neither of us wanted to risk him missing a day so early in, even if his wife was dying a slow and painful death from the stomach flu.

Dear Connor - 3 Years, 3 Months

Dear Long Leg-ged Little One,
What do you think you are doing getting so tall all of a sudden? Those jeans fit just fine a couple of months ago and now your ankles are starting to show. I don’t really notice this sudden burst in height, unless you are stretched out being held by Daddy and I can see the entire length of you. The length that used to drape over one arm, the length that didn’t come past my belly button when you were riding in your front pack.

And now you are starting to look more like a little boy than a toddler, or a pre-schooler even. Sometimes you throw over a look that makes me think it’s what you are going to look like in high school. I can see it already, hiding behind the pirate ships and the stuffed animals, a fleeting glimpse of the adolescent you will become.
You are starting to enjoy your brother. Some mornings, I let him go into your room to wake you up. He climbs up onto the bed, over to you and opens his mouth for a big sloppy kiss. If that doesn’t work, he’ll attempt to tickle you, saying, “dicky-dicky” which is his word for tickle. You don’t appreciate it one bit, but even through you are pushing him away, saying, “STOP IT!” over and over, you are laughing while you do it.

This has been a difficult year for you. Right about the time that you discovered that the baby brother just might be staying for good, Daddy got laid off and was home full time. At first we enjoyed the time immensely, going to the zoo and taking beach trips. Things that we weren’t able to do before because Daddy had to work all of the time. As Spring approached though, things started to get stressful and I’m sure you felt it. I went back to work full time for a couple of weeks and was back home only to find another 3 month contract position a month later and further disrupt your schedule. Me working, was difficult for everyone, including me, although in retrospect, it would have been extremely enjoyable had I known that everything would be alright in the end.
This has been a big year for change for you and for us. We’ve cut you a break with your behavior, assuming that you must be just as stressed as everyone else and tried to give you the benefit of the doubt as often as we could. Because your schedule was changing and something was going on in the house that you didn’t quite understand, we tried to cut you a break.

Now that Daddy is working again, I’m trying my best to get you back on a schedule. We removed the gate in the hallway, because you could open the gate anyway, there wasn’t much point in keeping it up anymore. You are able to open almost all of our child proof locks and knobs, which means, no room is safe. Luckily, you are starting to understand cause and effect and for the most part do a good job staying out of the places you are banned from, lest you end up in the time out chair.
You’ve honed your obsession with monsters, ghosts and spooky things, (spooky fangs). First thing in the morning there is a five minute dialog where you explain about the monsters and ghosts that were in your room and what you talked about with them during the night. And oh the love of pirates! There must be something deep within little boy DNA that causes you to automatically gravitate towards swords and fighting. Give you a sword, (and someone to whack with it) and you are a happy boy. Sadly, that person often ends up being the brother, or Mommy’s bottom which results in the sword going to live on top of the fridge. At any given time there is a collection on top of the fridge or entertainment center of swords, pirate hooks or hammers that have been taken away for hitting someone or something with it.

I’m so glad that the past year is behind us and I’m relieved that you weathered it as well as you did. You probably won’t even remember this time of your life, although if you do it will probably consist of swords, monsters and a whole lot of boxed mac and cheese.
I love you,
Mommy

Happy Days Are Here Again

Guess what?
JORMA GOT A JOB TODAY!!!!!
Was that really loud when you read it? Because that's the way I'm saying it. And not just a job... a GREAT job!

Dear Tristan - 16 Months

Dear Tristan,
In your old age, if you should ever wonder what "sweetness and light" look like, please refer to your baby pictures. You are such a happy kid. You are content to be held, but only for a moment, because there are outlets that must be investigated and gates to be checked. You and your brother are the reason child proofing was invented. We have the house locked down. We have a gate blocking the office, (to keep you guys from pulling all of the books off of the shelves and pressing the big shiny button on the computer... the one that kills the power and turns it off) and the stairs. The cabinets are locked down, the trash can is hidden and the toilet remains behind closed doors, but still you manage to break into the bathroom, grab my hair brush and stir the toilet with it. Ain't we got fun?


I'm a member of a local stay at home Moms club, (Administrative VP actually - yay mommy) and I frequently attend kid friendly events. We have play dates and park dates and lots of fun stuff, but you rarely get to go. The other day we had a morning event at someones house and for some reason, I found myself wondering why I didn't just take you and your brother both.
You see, usually just your brother goes and you stay home with Daddy. You brother really loves playing with the other kids but, you are are still at the age where other children are more of something in your way to a toy than something to play with. You probably have just as much fun roaming the playroom at home by yourself, free to play with whatever you like without it being taken away. So, long story short, I decided to take you both.

We weren't there 15 minutes before I knew exactly why I don't take you both to these events... I can't be two places at once. I have to keep a close eye on you because you love to climb stairs. You're also brave enough to put almost anything in the mouth, although you are getting better about it, I can't help being paranoid when I'm at someone else's house. At our house when you have something in your mouth, it's most likely food. It might be a corner of a 2 week old pop tart that fell underneath the sofa, which I do not approve of you eating, but at least I know you aren't about to swallow an earring or a high heeled Barbie shoe.
Your brother also still needs some attention when he's in public. He has to be reminded of things like, we do not throw toy baby strollers and that walking up to another child, yanking the toy they have and walking off is not acceptable behavior. So the entire time, I kept having to choose between the lesser of evils. I was miserable and I must have said your name in that "warning" tone 100 times. But you weren't the slightest bit interested in what Mommy had to say. Not when you had a barette in your mouth.

You are trying to turn into a picky eater, which is shocking because for a long time you would eat anything. Now you've decided that you will throw all of the food from your high chair tray onto the floor, continuously until something is put onto your tray that you would prefer to eat. This morning I gave you broccoli casserole and half a banana for breakfast, (what kid doesn't like THAT for breakfast?!) You took a bite and then threw the rest on the floor.
You kept yelling, "AAAAHHHHH!!!" while looking at your brother, who was eating the pop tart he somehow managed to talk me into giving him for breakfast. I figured it wasn't really fair that he was eating pop tart and you weren't, (even though I promise my broccoli casserole IS better), so I gave you a pop tart, which you happily began chomping on. You enjoyed it so, that you didn't even notice that your milk had been spiked with Flax Seed Oil.

Every time you snuggle up to me, it makes me think I could have 10 babies if it would mean that I could keep the feeling I get when you are sweet, sleepy and warm in my arms just a little bit longer. This is the last stage of baby and it's so hard not to wish it away and look forward to the days of future that will be diaper free. The days that you can walk up and down stairs without me hovering behind you waiting to correct even the slightest misstep. But when those days are here, these days will be gone... and I'll miss them.
I love you,
Mommy

The Truth About Time-Out

What he wanted to say: YOU WERE IN TIME OUT… FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE

What he said: You were in time out, for holding your brother down and for having the nail clippers. You are not allowed to have the nail clippers. You are not allowed to hold your brother down. You are NEVER allowed to be near your brother with the nail clippers.

I'm a Quitter... Again

My favorite cigarette isn’t the first one of the day with my cup of coffee. It’s the second one of the day, (also with my cup of coffee). It’s the get it together smoke. The one where the kids are occupied, everyone’s had breakfast and I’m deciding how I’m going to put the day together. I’m planning. I’m relaxing. I’m gathering my strength to start getting everyone dressed, picking up the litter of toys throughout the kitchen and to explain to my oldest child that he can not teach his brother how to climb the drawers like a ladder to get onto the kitchen counter. I’m preparing for war.
This is the cigarette that I miss the most. I miss it, because as of January 2^nd, I became a non-smoker, again. (Except for the pack that I found by accident in the van, which had 4 who knows how old smokes in it, which I smoked staleness and all). With the exception of those I’ve been without. It’s been said, that kicking a cigarette addiction is akin to kicking a heroin habit. Granted, you don’t die from the nicotine withdrawal, like you can from a smack addiction, but I’d also like to point out that you can’t buy smack at the grocery store. Or at least the ones in our neighborhood.
I’ve quit with both of the pregnancies, but always managed to start back shortly after. It seems harder this time and I’m not sure why. I’m so wrapped up with nicotine as a reward system. I get the kitchen cleaned up, throw in a load of laundry and go have a smoke. The kids go to bed for the night and I go sit outside and have a smoke. I guess also, it’s one of the few times daily that I’m actually alone. It’s my little five minute breaks from the kids several times a day. It relaxes me.
I decided to quit this time, because it’s just time. I’d had my fun, I’ve been smoking for years and it’s time to start preparing for the future. Each time Connor gets a cold, I hope and pray I don’t get it because I don’t want it to move into my chest. Each time that I went outside in the freezing cold to smoke and each time I had to run to the store for a pack of smokes it reminded me. But mostly each time I looked at the kids, I wanted to quit. I wanted to be around for them.
I’m trying to avoid the 15 lb weight gain that comes with smoking. It’s hard to do since I feel like I’m hungry all of the time and I just can’t quit munching. One step at a time…

 

Weasel Seashells by the Seashore

Connor is wriggling around in my lap and I say to him. My goodness! It’s like holding a weasel!
He looks at me quizzically.
“Do you know what a weasel is?”  I ask him.
“No”, he says.
“It’s like a ferret”, I say.
“Do you know what a ferret is?” I ask.
“Yes”, he says, smugly. But he says it like a 15 year old girl… everything but the eye roll.
“What’s a ferret?”, I ask.
“It’s like a weasel.”

 

Top 10 Baby Names of 2007

The list is out.

Connor is # 14.

Tristan is # 52.

 

Strangely, Jorma isn’t listed at all. (Neither is Janice on the girls list though…)

If I'm on the Internet Seeking... Then my Children Must be Sleeping

I can't remember the last time, I just sat on the computer and randomly surfed the internet. We only have one computer and someone's always on it. Between job searches and keeping up with email it's a hot commodity in the household.
Tonight once I finished up all of my homework, (jobs, email, moms club), I found some extra time to look over Photoshop Tutorials. I started looking at tutorials, because my Mom got me interested in Corel Painter X, which has an extensive collection of painting tools. As I watched the Corel Tutorials, I couldn't help thinking that certainly it could be done in Photoshop. So I started Googling like crazy trying to find someone that was creating, painterly photos in Photoshop and doing it well. There are very few.
It's sites like this one though, that make me yearn for the days when I could stay up half the night reading Photoshop tutorials, because, hell, I only had to WORK the next day. I've always wanted to really experiment with painterly effects in Photoshop, but lacked the images. I always felt like I had to take them myself in order for them to be decent. But now thanks to the recent emergence of super cheap stock photo companies, I can play and play and play... without having to wait until I have a decent camera.
I don't have much time to play right now because as I said, the computer is always in use for job searches and the like... but as soon as I do, this computer is gonna be smokin'. (Maybe even literally since it's about 5 years old now)

Job 4 Jorma

Well, we finally heard from the company that Jorma’s been trying to woo. After 9 interviews, we were hoping to hear something  before the holiday. It was put off until Wed or Thursday after the holiday and then Friday. Friday we learned that it would be Monday, New Year’s Eve before we knew anything. New Year’s Eve, we got some news, but not the news we were hoping for. The person that makes the hiring decision is on vacation for the next few weeks and will check the numbers from last quarter before deciding whether or not he can be hired. So it will be several weeks before we know anything and the news we get might not be good. We know that they WANT to hire him, which is promising, but won’t pay our mortgage.

We are both, hmmm, what’s the best way to say this… a little bit disenchanted with the way corporate America manages it’s hiring process. This is the third company that he’s dealt with that really wanted to hire him, but after interviewing and making promises, determined that they didn’t have the funding available… or weren’t sure if funding was available.

At this point, we are both looking like crazy for something.
Despite all of the chaos and stress in our house, we’ve been luckily because our friends and family have been so supportive. We’ve had friends that took his resume in hand to their bosses boss and friends that called in favors with other people in their network to see if they could find something for us. It seems that everyone wants to help and for that we are so extremely grateful. Thank you to everyone that’s pestered their own family, friends and colleagues on our behalf. Just saying thank you, doesn’t feel like enough gratitude. We’d invite you all over for dinner, but I’m not sure how everyone feels about Ramen Noodles.

How you can help.

-          See if the company that you work for is hiring for anything that is Jorma-esque

-          Let us know so that we can submit his resume

-          Make them hire him

See how easy it is? I’ll keep everyone posted on the job search update. It’s possible that the Dream Job he’s been wanting will come up with funding after all and hire him just when we least expect it. Despite all of the turmoil that’s started out this year, it’s going to be a great year for us. I just know it.